Sunday, May 2, 2010

Jazz Festival 2010, Saturday: Uncle Drew Needs to Lose Weight



Well Pearl Jam didn’t cancel, so right off the bat today was a plus.

Today was a carbon copy of yesterday, weather wise. Cloudy, muggy, with the sun peeking through the clouds only rarely, and windy.

I was pretty beat after a great meal at the Pelican Club with Ron and Carly, getting back late, and trying to write yesterday’s boring post when I returned. Sidebar: Yesterday I left out that some stoned chick from Crystal Beach (she screamed that at the top of her lungs at one point) crashed into me a couple of times trying to dance. It was like the Will Ferrell-Chris Kattan SNL sketch of the club-going brothers who would grind on unsuspecting women on the dance floor. That’s what you call “Island Style.” Brandon Backe thinks that was a little crude. Anyway. Rather than trying to run before going out to the site (to consume my body weight in carbohydrates and fat disguised as something called “seafood mirliton”), I instead slept in and finished the post, before getting out to the site just a bit later than the Gospel Tent’s opening prayer. But its ok, I know they were praying for all of us to enjoy a great Festival.

So instead of a little gospel to get the day started, we opted instead for some local jazz, courtesy of Roderick Paulin and the Big Easy Groovers, featuring Nicole Slack-Jones Tribute to Julian “Cannonball” Adderly (this easily wins the title of Longest Jazz Fest Act Name of all time). Basically it was eight players with really strong arrangements on some New Orleans motifed favorites. They’re like a cross between a New Orleans straight jazz band and the old Doc Severinsen Tonight Show orchestra. The crowd in the rapidly filling tent really enjoyed the show. Unlike Astral Project from yesterday, these guys interacted with each other, having a musical conversation. The players were dynamic and involved not only with others, but the crowd as well. We stayed til the end, a lot longer than expected.

Let me explain a phrase I’ve used many times now, “sounds like New Orleans.” Saying that something has the “New Orleans style” at some level makes no sense. New Orleans gave birth to or incubated several distinct musical styles—blues, jazz, rockabilly, R&B, rock and roll, funk, even country. So it’s hard to call one distinct musical style “New Orleans music.” When I use that phrase, I mean a collection of musical signatures that transcend various distinct styles. The “Iko Iko” beat. The Jelly Roll Morton/Professor Longhair barrel roll piano at the beginning or bridge of an uptempo song. The call and response of the Mardi Gras Indians’ songs. The refrains in “Big Chief,” “Go to the Mardi Gras,” “Mardi Gras Mambo,” “Hey Pocky Way,” “I’m Walkin’” “Fiyo on the Bayou,” which are all very similar and have that original brass band-style two measure signature. These melodies find their way into all kinds of latter day New Orleans music of all kinds, and that’s what I mean by saying a song has a New Orleans style or flavor.

From there we went to the Dirty Dozen Brass Band in Congo Square. Thirty or so years ago, these guys brought the brass band back from the dead, coming out of the Treme to play brass band arrangements of funk, R&B and rock songs. Single handedly they inspired a resurgence of the New Orleans brass band tradition. But that was then. Now, most of the founders have left. In fact, the Dirty Dozen reunion at last year’s festival outdrew the current incarnation’s performance. The “Dozen” now consist of about nine players, which is just deceptive advertising. They have a drum kit, electric guitarist and keyboard player, unlike real brass bands. They’ve morphed from being a cutting-edge brass band to a harder, less brooding and surly version of the Neville Brothers, with more horns and a bit less introspection.

I intended at this point to talk about “Festival Guy,” but simply am too tired at the moment. Maybe tomorrow.

After we left the Dirty Dozen, we snagged some seafood mirliton and catfish meuniere. Seafood mirliton is one of those incredible Cajun dishes you don’t exactly know what’s in it. This basically was like stuffing, but moister and filled with crawfish, crab and oyster. Its another of the dishes designed to add 10 pounds. In one serving. I’d never had it but it was really excellent. The catfish was non-descript, but it did have some really good menieure sauce.

That took us about as far as the Economy Hall tent for the remainder of the New Leviathan Oriental Foxtrot Orchestra? Huh? Those of you who know me know I saw them last year, and they’re from a different world. Specifically, from 1910, where they’re the hottest thing around. Maybe in today’s world, Nehru jackets thinks this group is out of style, but in Economy Hall they’re rock stars (well, not rock stars, because those rock musicians are unkempt and ill-mannered…these folks are more like Rudy Vallee’s backup orchestra). Attired in Captain Stubing-wear, they look like they should be playing the First Class Lounge of the Lusitania. But they’re quite good musicians, well rehearsed, and carry on a great show. The Orchestra’s music was featured in Woody Allen’s Bullets over Broadway. Few Pearl Jam fans were in evidence here. As it often does, Economy Hall resembled Dance Night at the Old Folks’ Home. The Really Old Folks home. Or Georgetown, Texas. But the dance floor was crowded with young and old, and more old, and mothers with their little kids. As Louis Armstrong might have said “dig that Jass, man!”

OK, now here comes one of those Jazz Fest weird moments. While standing around near the food booths, minding my own business (which is not code for looking at girls), a woman came up to me with her young daughter (already a danger sign) and asked to take my picture. Visions of winding up answering to America’s Most Wanted, or being forced to take a paternity test, or finding myself in some Homeland Security detention facility had my natural flight reflex fully engaged. Just as I was ready to risk sudden cardiac death and tear off running for my life, she explained that (at least in sunglasses) I look exactly like her brother, Drew from Kentucky, and as if to seal the deal, the little girl chimes in and agrees that I look just like Uncle Drew. Only I’m a lot thinner. So I’ve got that going for me, which is nice. I posed for the picture and they thanked me profusely. For all I know my photo is now being used on the internet for some crazy Thailand sex kidnapping ring advertisements. Or a “before” photo for Cialis. Who knows? But if its legit, I just hope that toad Drew can get his act together and drop a few pounds. As Mandy Pepperidge would say, “Don’t you have any respect for yourself?”

After that stalking incident concluded, I downed some excellent seafood mirliton (sort of like a moister seafood stuffing, like crabcake casserole with crawfish and shrimp) and grilled catfish menieure, it was on to my highlight of the day, the Rebirth Brass Band. These guys got started in the Dirty Dozen’s wake, back in 1986. They’re even more funky and adept at bringing traditional brass band phrasing to some great R&B, funk and soul, and now rap tunes. But I even heard some Cab Calloway and Duke Ellington influences. Rebirth stayed closer to the streets, and is artistically more relevant. Rebirth also stayed in New Orleans, mostly, not going on world tours like the Dirty Dozen, so they’ve stayed close to home. Hence, HBO features Rebirth music in its new Treme series. These guys are a real brass band; the stage was awash in horns, and not a drum kit or keyboard was in sight. From the word go, the party was on. That wasn’t a concert, it was a house party. The absolutely packed Congo Square crowd may all as well have been at their standing Tuesday night gig at the Maple Leaf, but Rebirth had an energy I haven’t seen in their club performances. They obviously were swinging for the fences today, and they totally cleared them. We enjoyed the four little girls dancing on stage, obviously the kids of band members. We also enjoyed the suited, sashed second line leader on stage, breaking out some sweet dance moves on the crowd the whole show. Check out the great photos of this on Flickr. Even the security people were dancing. “Ain’t no party like a Rebirth party cause a Rebirth party don’t stop!”

Further sidebar: note to readers. If you decide to start a gospel group, do not name it “The Johnson Extension.” That is an unfortunate choice.

Now that today’s sixth grade boy humor is out of the way, let’s move on to talk about Beausoleil. This group is primarily the creative outlet of Michael Doucet, who with a handful of others has helped spread the Cajun music gospel to the world. Despite their fame and renown, I’ve not often enjoyed Beausoleil concerts. Lately they’ve seem to have had a touch of Zachary Richard about them, and the music has been very studious and introspective (i.e. tedious). Today was a different story. Relegated to the Fais-Do-Do stage after years of headlining, they seemed to rebound. Today was fun. The house was packed and there was actual dancing Let’s hope for more good times from Beasoleil to come.

From there it was on to Galactic, the latest New Orleans supergroup. I think I’m late to the Galactic party; they seem to have amassed quite a following, as evidenced by the packed to the gills attendance. Part of this had to have been people trying to secure good spots for Pearl Jam, but some had to have been to check out this hard-driving funk and soul group. Galactic was energetic, serious, and really delivered. They were joined, as on their latest CD, by New Orleans music royalty Trombone Shorty and Irma Thomas. Cyrille Neville’s presence ensured a Meters vibe as well. Because the crowd was just too thick and we were literally getting stepped on, it was time to bail.

First was an encounter with the fried oyster spinach salad. Though it featured fried oysters and the most caloric remoulade sauce of all time, the spinach was fresh and the oysters good. Not quite Acme Oyster House oysters, of course, but well worth it (at least for the spinach too).

Then it was back to the extremely far away from the stage, at the farthest possible distance away location, to see Pearl Jam (on the remote video screens, of course). Maybe it’s a generational thing, but I never really got Pearl Jam. Pearl Jam for me represented the sullen, moody, angry side of grunge, the musical equivalent of a fogged in and clammy Seattle day. Nirvana represented the frenetic, ready to burst out side. Nirvana defined the problems, while Pearl Jam just sulked about them. But that’s not to say I couldn’t appreciate them. Just not enough to hang in the refugee camp that the Acura Stage had turned into. If I want to watch a video of Pearl Jam in concert while inhaling passive cigarette and other smoke, I can do that at home. We stayed for about 20 minutes, and the band seemed sharper and altogether more interested in the affair than when I saw them several years ago in San Antonio. That show was like watching people that had just woken up. Today, however, they seemed on. The Times-Picayune gave them a good review.

But you can’t see everything, and for nearly 30 years I’ve waited to see the elusive Jeff Beck, former star of the Yardbirds and the Jeff Beck Group (which helped launch the careers of Ronnie Wood and Rod Stewart). I followed Jeff Beck in college, really admiring his later 70s instrumental work, which bordered on “rock fusion.” But had never seen him perform, and had never heard that he toured. Until today. Though opposite Pearl Jam, he still drew an incredibly large crowd to the Gentilly Stage. This crowd was much older than the Pearl Jam crowd. The smoke in the air was more cigar than pot or cigarette, a sure harbinger that middle age is in the house. Quint Davis introduced him, heaping effusive praise on him (like saying he’s the finest guitarist to go into and then come out of rock and roll…what does that mean exactly? Like he’s rock and roll bird seed?). Beck came out wearing some sort of futuristic sleeveless suit, looking like a cross between Ziggy Stardust and M.C. Hammer. Silver pirate cuffs on both arms didn’t help either, but I must say for someone who was in the thick of 1960s rock, he looks remarkable physically. Which is to say he doesn’t look like Keith Richards. Amazing what not using heroin for 30 years can do for your looks. Beck’s concert ran the gamut—delicate instrumentals evoking opera, to very hard rock. Towards the end of the set he played a chunky “Want to Take You Higher,” the old Sly and the Family Stone song, and “A Day in the Life,” which came nearly one year to the day after I saw Neil Young play the same song here at Jazz Festival. Interestingly, he neither sang a note, nor said a word to the crowd until the very end of the show. Only then did he introduce the band and thank the audience. I guess sometimes you have to let the music do the talking.

Tomorrow—the Festival concludes.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Jazz Festival 2010, Friday: Aretha Shows Us No Respect, But Its Still A Boogie Wonderland



Let’s just plunge right in to the day’s headline: Aretha Franklin’s last minute cancellation and subsequent replacement by Earth, Wind and Fire. I woke up this morning, checked Facebook and saw the announcement. Predictably, no reason was given. Commenters, predictably, lit her up. A couple of people noted a story in the Detroit News that the state of Michigan had filed an $11,000 tax lien against her and that she acknowledged its legitimacy but blamed inattention caused from being on the road. These commenters suggested she skipped the Jazz Fest gig to go clear up the tax lien, pointing to quotes indicating she would clear the matter up when she returned from her concert schedule. If that’s so, it makes no sense. The Jazz Fest job would have paid far more than $11,000, and certainly would have paid far more than whatever interest would accrue in the one day she’d be in New Orleans. Commenters also pointed out she had withdrawn from playing Jazz Fest last year, citing fatigue after playing the Presidential inaugural. But last year it wasn’t last minute, like this year. Who knows the real reason? But Jazz Festival, and New Orleans as well, must feel like Charlie Brown seeing Lucy pull the football out from under him yet again. Some commenters expressed frustration at having paid high ticket prices to see her in other shows, only to feel like she put on a far too short performance lacking any energy or enthusiasm. I have to say, I heard similar complaints about her 1993 Jazz Festival performance, which I attended. I enjoyed that show, but many friends who attended thought she mailed it in. Frankly, I had suspicions coming into this weekend that Aretha’s performance wouldn’t necessarily live up to my expectations. Yet, unless there was something extremely profound preventing her from playing, this decision shows no respect for fans, and certainly shows no respect for the Jazz Festival organization that had patiently worked with her towards her appearance.
As you’ll see later, Earth, Wind & Fire, who replaced her, really killed it so in the end it was no big deal.

Today was cloudy and cooler than yesterday, so there’d be no dying covered in sweat or sunburn issues. In a calculated gamble that the rains would hold up, we eschewed panchos and boots. Happily, the weather cooperated with us and we were spared the ordeal of living in a mud slide, which is far better than I can say about being here last year when the skies opened up on Friday, turning the whole Festival site into a big mud pit. Hoping to avoid what World War I soldiers called “trench foot” I brought boots this year. Which I chose not to wear today because I was so sure the rain would go away. Good call me!

We arrived at the Gospel Tent just as the morning prayer ended and took in the first act of the day, Gloria Bell and the Revelation Gospel Singers. I’m reluctant to just slam any gospel acts, certainly not amateurs or local acts. I’ll just say this group was a bit beyond its “sell by” date. They were a good opening act for 11:10 a.m.

On the Times-Picayune’s recommendation, we quickly beat it to the Blues Tent for J. Monique D’ Blues Band. This guy was a professional so no such courtesies for him. This guy represents a curious mentality among a certain type of New Orleans professional musician, thinking that New Orleans is the sun and the world revolves around it. This band plays the kind of McGeneric loud, clunking, imaginationless noise played in certain “blues clubs,” like one might hear on Bourbon Street. Tourist music. Oh, and as I photographed later, dude was wearing authentic alligator dress shoes. How banking industry lobbyist of you. Yet for some reason, this guy, like some other New Orleans musicians has this idea that they occupy the center of the universe. This self-aggrandizing smugness breeds an insufferability that’s difficult to take. I mean after all, you live in Gentilly (or some such local neighborhood), just how important can you really be? Yet, depite his diatribe about all those who have fallen for the cause in the last year, I was shocked to learn of Marva Wright’s passing. Turns out she had a couple of strokes last summer, and died in March of complications. Marva was an old hand when I first moved here. She was tremendously big in every way, and I still remember seeing her at Tipitina’s one night back when I lived here. She belted out blues lyrics as big as her own frame, which was considerable. She sang a song that night about a roach crawling to work, only to be topped by statements like she was “built for comfort and not for speed.” Her death at 62 is a real shame.

From there it was back to the Gospel Tent after a quick stop for some spicy white beans and rice, for a real find this Jazz Festival, the Rocks of Harmony. These guys brought it. All were fairly senior, and dressed in sharp brown pinstripe, three-piece suits straight out of American Gangster. Everyone had a powerful voice, and members went into the crowd at times. Songs like “Jesus Paid the Rent” really showcased them, and brought the crowd to its feet. The Gospel Tent was a’ rockin.

After their show, we headed over to the Acura Stage (the largest one) for Buckwheat Zydeco. Stanley “Buckwheat” Dural has been playing and shredding modern zydeco for over 20 years now. I’ve seen many performances both at Jazz Fest and elsewhere and you can usually count on them for a rockin’ performance. Today, however, was a little different. The songs were Pfish-like in length and tended to drag. In about a half hour span they played two songs. This wasn’t the Buckwheat Zydeco shows of the past. While occasionally the band got reenergized, it wasn’t often. Hopefully they haven’t caught the Zachary Richard disease. Still, it must be hard in New Orleans to open for the Dixie Cups and Allen Toussaint.

Noticeably the crowd is much thicker today than yesterday, though its still manageable. Neither Aretha’s cancellation nor the gloomy skies have kept many people away. After Buckwheat Zydeco finished we got the combo oyster pattie, crawfish beignets and crawfish sack. Basically, yumminess on a plate. Also a massive stroke on a plate. Highly recommended.

We took it over to the Jazz Tent for Astral Project, a New Orleans-based modern jazz group. The tent was totally full, as the band is a local favorite. While this may sound odd, the group was so precise and so technically complete, and the playing so pitch perfect that it sounded like listening to a CD rather than a live performance. That’s a strange and counter-intuitive thing to fault musicians for, but in many ways, the rough edges that come from a one-time performance are what make live shows special. Crowd interaction, spontaneity, passion…all seemed lacking. So, yes, I didn’t enjoy them as much because they played too well.

From there we went back to the Acura Stage for the Dixie Cups. This trio goes all the way back to the late 1950s/early 1960s New Orleans R&B era, but hit it big as a girl group with “Chapel of Love.” The set wasn’t widely attended, but they sang lots of great early 60s songs like “Twistin the Night Away” and “Sea Cruise,” and passed out hankies for “Chapel of Love.” Other stages may have been more crowded, but no one was having as much fun as we were at the Dixie Cups. “Bend over and let me see you shake your tail feather!”

After the last strains of “Iko Iko” had faded, we walked over to the Fais-Do-Do stage for the first time today for Steve Riley and the Mamou Playboys. This is another act that’s been around for over 20 years, working out of Mamou (also home of Fred’s Lounge). They’re more French than the typical Cajun group, not just the usual chanky-chank music. For a few songs they were joined by the Bonerama horns. Bonerama is a local New Orleans favorite, fronted by three trombone gunslingers and playing rock influenced brass music. Here again, the music was a little more subdued than usual, with the group working a softer vein. Not a lot of dancing.

Before he ended we jumped on over to Jose Feliciano. You may remember him for the theme song from Chico and the Man, or for his Light My Fire cover of the old Doors song. I didn’t expect much, but I’d seen Allen Toussaint, who was playing at the same time at the Acura Stage, last year, so thought Jose was worth checking out. Turns out, I was right. He had a large band and played a really diverse set, covering songs as mellow as “Billie Jean” or “If You Don’t Know Me By Now” to a shocking yet rocking cover of “Purple Haze,” complete with a little Hendrix-style “Star Spangled Banner” thrown in, followed up by the old Elvis tune “I’ve Got a Woman.” Who knew that Jose Feliciano could shred it with the boys? The show was so good and the crowd reaction so positive that we held over longer than planned to catch the entire show. Towards the end he took a turn on timpani and bongos, and for the encore played the old Fats Domino song “I’m Walkin.” After introducing the band, he did something I’ve never heard: he thanked the crew. Just an altogether great performance, one of those Jazz Fest finds that makes coming here worthwhile.

After that show concluded, we got a little jama jama and fried plantains and settled in at the Acura Stage for the Earth, Wind and Fire show. Starting with Quint Davis' introduction (a real sign of Jazz Fest elite status), they launched into "Boogie Wonderland," that show was rocking all the way through, except when they played their smooth songs. Like the best 1960s and 70s R&B groups, much of their movements were choreographed. They played all their great songs: "After the Love has Gone," "Shining Star," "Got to Get You Into My Life," "September," "Sing a Song," and "Heart's Afire." They went past 7 (another sign of status), after giving us about an hour and half of a rollicking dance party. Someone in the crowd held a sign that said "Thanks Aretha." Thanks indeed. Thanks.

Tomorrow-the rockers return!

Friday, April 30, 2010

Jazz Festival 2010, Thursday: Atheists Have No Hymns



Another year, another Jazz Festival.

This year marks the second year of a new tradition, hitting the YLC Wednesdays at the Square on the Wednesday night before Jazz Festival resumes on Thursday. The Lafayette Square Conservancy hosts this, in one of the most historic areas of town, the second New Orleans park (founded in 1788, about 40 years before Stephen F. Austin secured his first Texas colony charter). Last year I saw Marcia Ball and Marva Wright in a Jazz Fest warmup. This year was the Vinton Vixen herself, Marcia Ball. Wednesdays at the Square is something of a curiosity. Its not quite Jazz Festival because its downtown (across the street from the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals and Gallier Hall, the original City Hall), and it gets an odd mix of downtown workers just getting off work, tourists in for the Festival, and locals that happen to be in the area. So its not all about the music, as is the Festival. A good third of Lafayette Square consists of under-30s professionals having a happy hour with really excellent music in the background. About another third is given over to a number of arts and crafts vendors and local restaurants with booths. The final third consists of the actual concert stage. Just as whenever three Baptists get together a meal must be served, whenever three New Orleaneans gather there must be dancing. And dancing there was, throughout the square. The cutest little girl was dancing just in front of us for the longest time, running to her daddy only occasionally when the music stopped. She’d have fit right in on the Peanuts Christmas special, when they all danced. Lots of little kids were there, which seemed somewhat strange, taking your kids downtown for an evening event with lots of crowds. Marcia performed her usual bayou gumbo of music, a little rock and roll, a little Professor Longhair, a little Austin, and a pinch of blues.

The Square was just a short walk from our hotel, the Courtyard by Marriott, at St. Charles and Common. Usually I try not to stay so close to the Quarter; valet parking bills rival the actual room rates, and its harder getting in an out of the hotel. But it was available, convenient, and close to some good restaurants. My last hotel stay was in the Ritz Carlton in Chicago off Michigan Avenue. This place is…not that. Later that night we dined at Mila Restaurant, in the CBD. Mila promotes fresh local food sources, and we had an excellent meal among extremely high backed, Whoville-style furniture and a painted blue ceiling. I had “deconstructed” oysters Rockefeller (spinach, lightly poached oysters, applewood smoked bacon in a liquorice cream, and then smoked pepper tuna with broccoli rabe and balsamic sauce. Mila is in the Pere Marquette hotel, a fairly upscale local establishment with a pretty cool futuristic bar area. Imagine the lounge in the space station in 2001: A Space Odyssey.

The next morning, after getting almost no sleep (I haven’t been getting any sleep for awhile, since…oh…1994), I stumbled out onto the streets and ran very slowly for about half an hour in the Warehouse District. Its an often overlooked portion of town, with some really incredible non-French architecture. Many of the old warehouses now host loft homes, shops, offices and restaurants. Its become a really vibrant area, a far cry from back in 1991 when I lived here and the first homesteaders were moving in to reclaim the area from the urban detritus. Today dawned as a really pleasant day, with sun and cool breezes, and the weather held up all day. Though somewhat hot, the breeze stayed with us all day and picked up in the evening.

After a thoroughly forgettable breakfast we endured an intolerable wait for my rented soccer mom-mobile (trick it out with McDonaldland toys, a two inch layer of organic residue, and two video screens showing The Little Mermaid and The Lion King non-stop, and I’d be rolling down the road in a ride pretty much indistinguishable from ¾ of Kingwood). So much for image. But we did persevere and made it to my secret parking spot. Like the location of the Bat Cave, or Dr. Evil’s underground lair, I’m afraid my super-secret, maximum convenience parking spot must remain confidential. Let’s just say, doing something over and over and over does tend to instill some knowledge about the best approach. After a pleasant walk across Bayou St. John and into the Festival, we stopped at the Gospel Tent to renew yet another new Jazz Fest tradition (or habit?) of attending the Gospel Tent’s opening prayer.

It turns out that today really didn’t feature any blockbusters or anyone who really knocked it out of the park. Today was a day for catching 20-30 minutes of lots of different acts to get a handle on who might be worth more time later on after this Jazz Festival goes in the books.

The McMains High School followed the prayer. This uptown group really could belt it out, with instrumentalists or a capella. Their soloist, a young man of about 17 or 18, really had some presence.

From there it was on to Economy Hall for the Hot Club of New Orleans. Immediately they lost points for having stolen their name from the Hot Club of Cowtown, a highly regarded trio out of Dallas that plays western Swing and jazz. This Hot Club, however, plays more straight up swing with an early jazz flavor. Clarinets rather than saxophones. They have a little Django Reinhardt thrown in as well. And they wore suits, albeit suits that look like they originally came from J. Crew (and probably had been purchased at a “vintage” store, guaranteeing they wouldn’t “quite” fit). Oh, dressing tip. If your collar isn’t comfortable when its buttoned, then it doesn’t fit. Either you need to eat fewer twinkies every day, or you need another shirt. I mean, really. Hot Club really entertained the growing crowd of prospective retirement condo purchasers, mothers with 3 year old kids, and recent hip replacement recipients, obviously passing the time until the bingo hall opens. At the end, they played When the Saints Go Marching In (the first of two times we’d hear that battle hymn) and the second line broke out. Lots of folks with incredibly finely detailed parasols, sashaying up and down the aisles. Yeah. Let’s just say, that was about the whitest thing I’ve ever seen (or at least the whitest thing since watching Animal House at the Alamo Villlage the other night).

From there it was on to the Prejean’s booth for quail, pheasant and andouille gumbo and crabmeat stuffed mushrooms. The gumbo didn’t disappoint; the deep, smoky flavor and sweet meat revealed its oakness on first sip. The mushrooms, however, were not great. Bready, stale, and cold…reminds me of a date I had once. A rare miss by one of Cajun country’s premiere restaurants.

Next up was the Jazz Tent for one of the town’s young jazz guns, Mario Abney. For some reason it was billed as the Mario Abney Sextet, but there were only five guys on stage. Was there an imaginary member? Does one of them have multiple personalities? Maybe the sixth guy was off-stage, kind of like Rod Stewart in his early days singing for Jeff Beck, when stage fright kept him in the dark shadows off stage. Anyway, Abney was a polished, competent professional, playing mainline jazz of his own composition and backed with a strong band. He plays a precise trumpet, hitting rapid fire notes in succession right on the beat. Unfortunately, he also insists on stomping around the stage exhorting the other players, like a more dictatorial Bob Wills, and on wearing unnecessary sunglasses, no doubt evoking past-his-prime Miles. But I see good things happening for Mario Abney.

Catching more snippets than shows this day, it was next to catch the tail end of Joe Hall and the Cane Cutters over at the Fais-do-do stage. This was your proto-typical Cajun band: accordion, fiddle, washboard, guitar, etc. At Joe Hall, the third of four people for the day gave me their “double rods” or otherwise remarked on my 1560 The Game t-shirt. It’s a small thing, but I do love that locally owned Houston sports talk radio station and stream it every morning (and many afternoons). Two words: “SEC Guy.” Anyway, all four for the day were very enthusiastic. One guy insisted on high fiving me he was so fired up about my shirt. And you know how I feel about this. Following Joe Hall was the immortal Crawfish Bread. We sat next to a guy at Economy Hall who told me that the first thing he does when he arrives at Jazz Fest is to get a beer and some Crawfish Bread, and I couldn’t stop thinking about the stuff ever since. Crawfish Bread basically is simple: a fresh third of a baguette, with various cheeses (primarily cheddar) melted on the bread, with crawfish tails and spices thrown in. Yummy hardly begins to describe it. More like I need to have kids so that I’ll have some kids I can trade for more Crawfish Bread if the money runs out.

OK, that was a bit much. I’ll grant you.

And so we come to the one dark cloud in this first Jazz Fest blog of the year, namely, our former favorite Amanda Shaw. When last we had anything to do with this young musician, 18 year old Amanda Shaw was performing a fairly traditional yet spruced up set of Louisiana country music in last year’s Fais-Do-Do stage performance. She played the guitar in a fairly straight up Cajun band, and appeared fairly serious about the music. At age 18, she seemed pretty confident, but not exactly what you’d call a showy player. What a difference a year makes. At 19, pictured above apparently botching an attempt to throw the shocker, Amanda Shaw appears to have driven a far piece down Britney Spears Avenue. Tricked out in white pants tight enough to resemble sausage casings, belly dancer belly jewelry, sparkly top, multiple beaded necklace, and done up hair, Ms. Shaw struts, preens, slithers, and bounces around stage with her fiddle like another Louisiana native we used to know (albeit somewhat less crazily). With an extraordinarily bizarre mix of a squeaky speaking voice and deep singing voice, Amanda insists on trying to straddle that fence of world-wise and Joan Jett-like on one side and a sweet little Southern belle good girl on the other (you know, Britney before Justin Timberlake was through with her). Unfortunately, she just can’t pull it off. Watching her completely new style (that insincere fake popular country that’s really just rock sung by someone with a redneck voice), new look, and new singing approach, I couldn’t help but see the meeting where her new handlers outlined her strategy for rocketing straight to the top (“honey, you need to show ‘em what you’ve got, don’t be afraid to flaunt it, but remember, you’re a nice girl most of the time, but a woman when it counts” ok, thanks for that focus group approach). Basically they’re going for Country Lolita. Hence, she preens around stage like a much less capable Mick Jagger, and throws out the Westside and the Shocker like some suburban Tupac or Ice Cube. “Someone’s gonna get cut…” ok, honey, that’s nice. Hand me another lemonade sweetie. Boasting of being a good Southern girl from Louisiana, and then in the next breath launching into “Devil Went Down to Georgia” is one thing. Innocently squeaking on at a vocal pitch that for the most part only dogs can hear while protesting your innocence, after which you tear into “Sweet Honey” or “One Night Stand” while sounding like Tina Turner is quite another. But you are who you are, and no amount of skanking it up is going to overcome you singing “I done told you once you son of a bleep I’m the best there’s ever been.” No, really, she said “bleep.” Imagine Mary Tyler Moore singing something like "Brown Sugar." Amanda, honey, even Johnny Weir thinks your street cred is in tatters.

Ok, from that black cloud we went on to Sunpie Barnes and the Louisiana Sunspots. This was another fairly standard Cajun and zydeco band, though with an interesting twist of adding some more New Orleans and Caribbean influences. Imagine Mardi Gras Mambo played by a zydeco band. And Sunpie wore a cool top hat, like Fred Astaire or John F. Kennedy at his inauguration.

Geno Delafose and French Rockin Boogie briefly followed. Geno was more in the usual zydeco vein, and the Fais-Do-Do stage crowd ate it up.

Then it was on to bluegrass, and, curiously, the highlight of the day. The bluegrass was provided by none other than National Treasure Steve Martin. You know, the “Wild and Crazy Guy,” the “Excuse Me” guy, and the Cat Juggling guy? Yeah, Navin Johnson himself. “He hates these cans!” No joke, but Steve Martin is, and has been for many years, an accomplished banjo player. He puts it aside of course, but always seems to return. The highlight was not so much the songs, which with backup band the Steep Canyon Rangers were capable, but the intersong dialogue, where Martin introduced the songs. Its been over 30 years since Steve Martin abandoned standup to do one outstanding movie (The Jerk), one incredible yet melancholy movie (The Shopgirl), one semi-funny movie (LA Story), and a bunch of crap. Many people have forgotten that during the late 1970s, Steve Martin became the pre-eminent American standup comic, and that’s in a field that included Richard Pryor. Casually tossing out asides more clever than 95% of all working comedians, Martin held the audience with humor, great chops, and often witty song lyrics. He left stage to “find a beer” and to allow his band to play a song by themselves, observing that it had been “25 minutes since I’ve googled myself.” He remarked that atheists don’t have art or hymns, and proceeded to lead the band in the world’s first atheist hymn (“he” is always written in lower case). He observed that he admired protest song writers and wrote his own protest song, but “Let’s Keep the Minimum Wage Right Where She’s At” was unlikely to sell. He predicted his latest CD with the band would be a smash hit, because the day its released, he’ll die of a vicodin overdose. The crowd, and I, loved it.

But we cut it short to catch the tail end of up-and-comers the Soul Rebels. In about four songs, three were about the Saints winning the Super Bowl. I guess that’s a really huge deal down here still. This was a young New Orleans brass band, from the Rebirth mold, only more hip and cool.

After getting some jama-jama (sautéed spinach) to try and put a dent in my artery buildup, we went on to catch a little Widespread Panic. I still am not quite sure how the Panic phenomenon ever caught on. I get that when Jerry crossed the river Styx (probably smuggling cocaine in with him), that left a huge void in the jam band ethos. What are these people going to do in life if there’s not some band to follow around and make your own, you know, like all those times Jodi Foster ignored John Hinckley. So they soldiered on, attaching themselves to Pfish and later Widespread Panic. I’m not sure what they play is really music, or if its just written to account for their stoner fans. Widespread Panic songs seem to be a bunch of six and twelve measure musical thoughts stitched together in one song. The tempo will widely speed up for a bit, then slow down just as suddenly, like the song was swerving to avoid some kid that drove his Big Wheel into the road. The trippy, hippy, dippy fans also leave something to be desired. The girls were evocative of Goldie Hawn on Laugh-In (though not as cute and far filthier), the guys were just a bunch of stoned frat boys and way over-the-hill guys with guts and excessive facial hair. And everyone seemed extra dirty. Now this all sounds like the Conservative Republican at the MoveOn.org rally, but Daily Affirmations embraced the Dead. I went to at least eight Dead shows, know what that’s all about, and enjoyed my times. This just seems like nostalgia. Or crap. I’m not really sure which. Either way, I don’t think I’m going to affect sales one way or the other.

After a taste of Panic, we checked out the Inspirational Souls of Chicago at the Gospel Tent on a tip from the Crawfish Bread guy from earlier. This five-singer group really commanded the stage, and lived up to its inspirational name. We stayed longer than planned, to the end of the set.

With our spirits energized and refreshed, we went over to check out Elvis Costello. He of course hit the scene when I was in high school. With his odd, Buddy Holly-style look and association with the punks, he was at first dismissed as part of that movement. But late period Elvis Costello has in large part resembled a rock and roll Liberace. Cutting albums with Burt Bacharach, for example. Tonight’s show was also in a mellow vein, with Elvis playing acoustic guitar, and six other guys playing softly. After a somnolent “Every Day I Write the Book,” on the heels of a totally average “Friend of the Devil,” we prematurely called it quits, by which I mean it was time to check out Lafayette’s own Bonsoir Catin, a four-piece French and Cajun music group comprised entirely of women. And, as I’ve noted before, one of the members was a Breaux Bridge Crawfish Festival Queen. They played more traditional Cajun French music, replete with triangle, saxophone, and accordion. No drums, of course. The Lagniappe Stage crowd was more sparse than last year’s mid-day Fais-Do-Do stage feature show, but this crowd was enthusiastic. Maybe Breaux Bridge came here yesterday?

OK this has been pretty long so I’ll close. On the whole, no real showstoppers today, but we heard a wide variety of fairly good music.

Tomorrow-“Are you tripping? No one interrupts the Queen of Soul bitch, okay?”



Monday, April 26, 2010

Welcome to the 2010 New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival



Jerry Lee and Stevie Wonder are looking forward to meeting you at Jazz Fest this year. Which is a bit odd because they won't actually be there again this year. But, the memory lingers on.

This blog began as a means by which I could share my vacation exploits with my three friends. One has since moved on, leaving two friends hanging on every word about my exciting vacation trips. The fact that more people don't read those posts is really staggering. With writing like "I reached the summit around 3:30. It was beautiful. Really, really beautiful. Just really great scenery. Then I turned around, ate a sandwich and hiked the rest of the day. Did I mention it was really beautiful at the summit?" Riveting.

The first significant expansion of scope, other than breaking down important Star Trek plots and likening social issues to Dirty Dancing, was to over-analyze my New Orleans Jazz Festival experiences. Turns out that not only am I an expert on these and numerous other subjects, I'm also an expert food and music critic. True story. Not letting the fact that no one asked stop me, I've taken it upon myself these last few years to share my most intimate, detailed, road-wizened tales of Jazz Festival-going with you. By that of course, I mean bringing the same razor sharp descriptive powers to Jazz Fest blogging that I do to all my travel posts. "Then I saw Bonsoir Caitin, a traditional cajun band. They were good. Really good. Really, really good. Then I ate a crawfish pie, and then I went to Kings of Leon and they sucked, which was bad because it was hot." Kind of like a book report by the captain of the 8th grade football team, but whose Mom was too busy planning her Southern Living party to help him write it. Or exactly like a Rolling Stone music review, only the exact opposite.

But they're fun to write, and because I take notes during the day, writing and subsequently reading these posts helps me remember my Jazz Fest experiences a little longer. It seemed for awhile that no one was reading until last year, when an especially angry and motivated Sugarland fan, whose wit sadly did not match his or her emotional level, wrote to object in the strongest possible terms to my review of Sugarland including the "how to tell that your band sucks" game. In fairness, I may have gone a little far with stating that the town of Sugar Land, Texas wants the band to get its name out of their mouths. But, hey, "tough stands on tough issues" is the Daily Affirmations motto. (Actually, "you can be my wingman anytime" is the motto, its just that its so...well...dubious).

Where was I?

Jazz Fest. OK, well, it's back again, and I leave for New Orleans on Wednesday for another year under the sun. Once again, I'll be attending the four-day second weekend (having missed Simon and Garfunkel, the Allman Brothers, and various other name acts this past first weekend). Look for posts each night (though Sunday's post usually is delayed because I have to spend that night packing). It'll be another year of sunshine fighting with rains for mud pit supremacy. Another year of awesome, amazing, incredible, death by food. Another year of discovering incredible new bands. Another year of catching old musicians again, or seeing some of the old favorites for the first time. And another year of damn near causing myself to need back surgery from all the standing around. If only I could send 25 year old Chris in my place. Sadly, I think that guy got sidetracked somewhere in Rapides Parish in the buffet line at Ryan's Family Buffet. Man, Alec is really some place to leave, err, "live."

Anyway, for someone inclined to experience music as a passion, rather than just something to dance to or have playing in the background, Jazz Festival stirs the soul and renews the spirit. Each year gives a reawakening of the senses. Every time I attend, I celebrate a new rite of spring. And by that I mean, hot girls in cutoffs.

And awesome music. Past Jazz Festivals have allowed me to go on a proverbial tour of a living Hall of Fame: Aretha Franklin, Jerry Lee Lewis, Stevie Wonder, Rev. Al Green, Isaac Hayes, Sam Moore, Ike Turner, the Dixie Cups, Solomon Burke, Paul Simon, Elvis Costello, Tony Bennett, Randy Newman, Junior Walker, Charles Brown, Carole King (with special guest Slash...yeah, you read that right), Allen Toussaint, Dr. John, the Neville Brothers, Carlos Santana, Neil Young, Wynton Marsalis, Mose Allison, John Mayall, Irma Thomas, Solomon Burke, the Ohio Players, Percy Sledge, the Five Blind Boys of Alabama, the Zion Harmonizers, Tito Puente, and a list that goes on and on. Jazz Fest also allows its faithful the opportunity to sample a wide variety of musical styles beyond the crowd-pulling headliners, ranging from zydeco to traditional jazz, from blues to ragtime, from gospel to folk. Jazz Fest has opened the door for me to learn about countless other players I'd have never encountered otherwise. Anders Osborne, Dash Rip Rock, Treme Brass Band, Rebirth Brass Band, Theresa Andersson, Bonsoir Caitin, Irma Thomas, the Radiators, Ernie K-Doe, Better than Ezra, Beausoleil, the subdudes, the Iguanas, the New Orleans Klezmer Orchestra, Feufollet, D.L. Menard, John Boutte, Deacon John, Buckwheat Zydeco, Amanda Shaw, the New Leviathan Oriental Foxtrot Orchestra, and, again, countless others.

This year looks to be one of the best yet. The headliners are top quality, but not necessarily so famous that they'll draw a crush of fans just to see them. Signed, the Dave Matthews Band. Interesting headliners this year include Widespread Panic, Elvis Costello, Jose Feliciano, Aretha Franklin, the Gipsy Kings, Pearl Jam, Jeff Beck, Van Morrison, B.B. King (against the Neville Brothers...sorry, I'm listening to Lucille), Richie Havens (sadly also against BB King, and for some bizarre reason at the Fais-Do-Do stage), and of course, the Nevilles. Jeff Beck represents my own personal jewel in the crown this year. This guy took over for Eric Clapton in the Yardbirds, had three solo albums with Rod Stewart that presaged the entire Led Zeppelin catalog, and has reigned at the top of the guitar slinger heap for nearly 45 years. I saw Pearl Jam in San Antonio a few years ago, and frankly they mailed it in. But they've had at least one strong release since then, and will be worth a listen. And then there's the Queen of Soul. You can bet I'll be riding on the Freeway of Love in my pink Cadillac come this Friday at 5:35. Find out what it means to me.

Finally, there's the food. Oh.My.God. What food! Or to be more precise, the greatest thing EVER. Prejean's andouille, quail, and pheasant gumbo and crab and crawfish stuffed mushrooms. Crawfish Monica. Crawfish Pie. Crawfish Bread. White chocolate bread pudding. Cajun duck po-boy. Shrimp and grits. Pies of all kinds. Pralines. I'll be coming back with a spare tire around my waist.

A brief stop in Lafayette Square, near the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals, to check out Marcia Ball playing will open the adventure on Wednesday night. I hope to see Ron this weekend as well. But each night as I walk across the pedestrian bridge over Bayou St. John into the sunset, near City Park, I'll be walking in the clouds of yet another Jazz Festival renewing the spirit, the soul, and the Ile d'Orleans (hey Quebec, ours was first, and it's way cooler, so pipe down).

Laissez les bon temps rouler! We're gonna pass a good time!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Things Are Looking Up


Things are looking up
I've been looking the landscape over
And it's covered with four leaf clover
Oh things are looking up
Since love looked up at me


--“Things Are Looking Up,” George and Ira Gershwin


Whether its an inevitable byproduct of growing old (like the apparent rule that people over 40 must start conversations with old friends by comparing each other’s medical conditions, or hair sprouting from new places every day), or whether its just a true reflection of the times, it seems like the older people get, the more they think things are going downhill. Either way, the further one gets away from their first day on this planet, the easier to see the human condition as inexorably worsening. Despite the fact that we, for the moment, still live in the world’s richest country, how can you continue to ignore the sky crashing in on you? Drugs in elementary schools, recession, taxes, the Jersey Shore, Martha Stewart, pollution, job loss, Rahm Emanuel, the hapless Astros, Tom Cruise…Dallas…the French. When’s it ever going to get better?

I can’t tell you. I can’t even tell you it definitely will get better at some point. I’m thinking more and more that I’m living in Atlantis. Or Pompeii. Only without the cool sandals or porcelain floors everywhere. Or lava oozing across my driveway. Frankly, lots of days after reading the latest news, I think about taking all my money and buying a bunch of gold coins, putting them in mason jars, and burying them out in my back yard along with ammo, rifles and canned goods (oh, and Quarter Pounders too…I read your article Carrie!). I just need to make sure not to dig up anything else in my back yard. Hypothetically.

But like our Fearless Leader, I too can give you some hope. Hope that comes not from ephemeral, focus-group tested campaign slogans, but hope that comes from facts. And from the perpetual, "you can’t kill it no matter how much take from the rich or nanny state legislation" you pass, American drive to make a buck.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Life still manages to crush and disappoint on an almost daily basis. On the whole, government is driving this country over the cliff, like Thelma and Louise hell bent to just “keep going.” Our “culture” mostly resembles that indeterminate sticky/slimy residue that builds up next to French Quarter sewer grates. Spend more than 10 minutes outside without wearing SPF 50 and you’ll glow like a pre-melanoma farmer. Steroids have nearly turned baseball players into a bunch of Godzillas playing rec league softball. And the most popular singer of the day, Justin Bieber, somehow makes Justin Timberlake seem like John Lennon.

Nevertheless, in many ways, things are looking up. Amidst all the catterwalling and yearning for better days gone by, we’ve been overlooking staggering improvements happening right under our noses. Right across the board, things have been getting better and better.

But since when? I picked 1969. That’s around the time everything really started to change. In 1970, Nixon went into Cambodia, and in 1969 the dreaded Flower Power plague finally died off at a raceway in Altamont, California. America landed men on the moon. Ted Kennedy, American Treasure and saviour of the working man, swam ashore and went home to his family compound while leaving Mary Jo Kopechne to drown. Large-scale busing began in earnest, and with it white flight and northeast urban center decline. The Beatles broke up. The Manson Family committed the Tate-LaBianca murders. The New York Times broke the My Lai story. The Stonewall “riots” occurred. That was the first year the Astros seriously contended for the playoffs. The Mary Tyler Moore Show started the next year.

I was five years old, and it’s the first year for which I have real memories. We lived in the Westbury subdivision in Houston, on a street right behind train tracks, which was next to busy South Main Street, which in turn was next to a drag racing strip and a high school football stadium (that’s why train noise never keeps me awake at night). Dad worked about 10 minutes from our house as a Southwestern Bell first line supervisor. I had one brother (who at the time was scared of his hair and who got in trouble on Father’s Day for doing a face plant into Dad’s cake), though the following year I would have two. We had a Volkswagen Beetle and an even-then old Nash Rambler station wagon that billowed blue smoke when you started it. Neither car had air conditioning. Everything began to change after 1969. But we sure had lots of fun. We were always going to fun places like the Battleship Texas, San Jacinto Monument, Hobby Airport, Houston Cougars and Astros and Galena Park Yellow Jacket games, Astro World, the zoo, Galveston, the Museum of Natural Science, and Hermann Park. The next year, we would move to Missouri City to avoid my having to go to Houston schools (in part, but also because the home building company Dad invested in went bankrupt and gave houses to stockholders as repayment—how does that taste, jilted Enron shareholders? We got a house out of the deal). My youngest brother (and corresponding increase in household and living expense) would arrive on the scene. Dad’s job got more stressful and we began to see less of him. Dad bought a yellow Ford Maverick, with no air conditioning (in which we had to ride around on Sunday afternoons looking at new homes, for some bizarre reason, piled into the back seat on top of each other and sweating like Kirstie Alley trying to make it to Pizza Hut before closing time. I always got car sick, which made me enormously popular). So, 1969 becomes the baseline for this post. It was the last “great year.” The “good old days.”

Or was it? Since 1969, a big long list of things have markedly improved our daily lives. And more than just the remote controlled TV set. Let me offer just a handful of those ways. Maybe this will convince you that things weren't necessarily better back in the old days. Or I guess 1969 qualifies as the really old days. We didn't all wear animal hides though, so save your hilarious jokes for open mike night.

Obviously, the advent of modern computer represents the biggest advance since 1969. Computers have remade society, in every way, touching nearly every human activity. They’ve made possible quantum leaps in architecture, medicine, communications, law, engineering, basic research, politics…nearly every discipline you can imagine. The typewriter and the telex machine come to mind. Computers have rendered whole industries and products obsolete. Travel agents, draftsmen, recording engineers, box stores…all about as relevant as covered wagon manufacturers. Oh, and don’t forget all those computer games that have fattened up our children like a turkey just before Thanksgiving and given slackers everywhere something to do. Thanks Atari.

You can’t really talk about computers and their effect on society without throwing in the internet. Computers, and internet connectivity made possible through communication advances, have made it possible for riff raff like me to gain instant access to a wealth of information vastly exceeding the world’s largest libraries. Any information you could possibly want, available at your fingertips. Because I need to have up to the minute New Zealand rugby scores, and instructions on how to knit a scarf. At the same time. No need to pay for expensive doctor visits, not with Web MD available. Doctors. Meh! Them and their know-it-all God’s gift attitude. This’ll show them. Need to know how to ballroom dance, train your chimpanzee, or build a brick wall? Mr. Internet will teach you. Movie times, public announcements, status of the latest budget reconciliation bill? On line. Buying 15 pairs of shoes at one time? Check out the web site. Oh, and don’t forget expanded porn and gambling opportunities. Those hippies grew up and need to get their freak on. Basically, the internet has made it possible never to leave the house. Now if only those 500 pound, glassy-eyed, jaundiced computer geeks would do that, instead of taking up valuable coffee shop space.

Our society may have run out of things to say, but it’s a lot easier to communicate. Think of how it was in 1969. You could either write someone a letter or call them on the phone. The Post Office would more than likely deliver the letter, a few days or weeks later, and generally even to the correct address. Then you waited to get a response. One back and forth exchange could take weeks, depending on how distant the person with whom you were communicating was located. Or, you could use the phone (or telex machine for the high falutin’ among us). You couldn’t actually own your phone; you leased it from the phone company. Nor could you move it around your house; it was permanently plugged into the wall. It had one color-black. Though by the 1960s, Bell was offering other colors and styles (three cheers for the Princess phone!) for a premium. Though Bell had the technology for advanced services like call back, caller ID, call forwarding, network switching, data transmission, and so forth, it refused to offer those services because it would require replacement of non-depreciated cables. And Bell also refused to deploy advanced phones and cables until it could fully depreciate its rate based equipment (which had extremely long service lives). Long distance? Forget it. There’s a scene in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, in which George Peppard (in New York) calls OJ Berman (in Los Angeles), and the operator is heard to say “please deposit $3 for three minutes.” This was 1962. Even with 45 years’ inflation, that’s still obscene. Bell basically subsidized local phone rates by charging a premium on long distance, just as it charged (and still charges) higher rates on local phone service to keep rural and urban service at roughly the same rate. Cozy relationships with state regulators kept this antiquated fiefdom from progressing much beyond Alexander Graham Bell-style technology. Enter one Harold Greene, federal district judge. By rejecting Bell’s various antitrust defenses, he essentially forced Bell to realize the gig was up and enter into a consent decree separating its long distance and local service divisions, breaking up the historic AT&T monopoly. This immediately touched off a flurry of competition in long distance markets, sending prices plummeting. You could finally talk to your brother on the west coast for longer than two minutes without having to mortgage your house or sell your children for scientific experiments to pay the bill. The consent decree also required Bell to allow customers to use their own telephones, ushering in a revolution of phone technology innovation. And Mickey Mouse phones (free with every subscription to the Disney Channel); Later, the Federal Telecommunications Act of 1996 required the local companies to “host” competitive companies who competed for local service. Though local phone service competition never really took hold, it did allow internet providers to compete against the Bell companies for providing internet service by using the monopoly telephone lines, driving down internet access rates. All this was a huge leap, but the development of cellular and later digital phone technology has truly revolutionized the world. Combined with cost-effective technologies for launching and maintaining communications satellites, unregulated mobile telephony has grown and innovated to the point where cell phones are available for a fraction of the cost that Bell charged for its land network. Twelve year old kids can afford cell phones just from their lemonade stand sales or paper route. You can even get a Hello Kitty cell phone. Something Bell would never have tolerated. Cell phones are safety devices, on top of allowing all kinds of emergency or remote communications the Bell network could never have facilitated. And you can’t tap cell phones, so that makes all kinds of crime possible that the Man would have stopped years ago. And don’t forget all the texts and e-mails you can get, even when its not possible to talk on the phone. Its getting to be nearly impossible to have an actual meeting anymore where people pay attention, with all the checking blackberries and iphones for messages. That, however is a good thing. There’s too damn many meetings (“let’s get the team together to visit about the next filing…” Uh, let’s not).

Remember when you got sick? Basically, the doctor was good at telling you the problem, but not so good at actually curing it. Cancer? If they couldn’t cut it all out, you were toast. Heart disease? In the late 1960s, some doctors were still prescribing steaks to those with heart problems. If they couldn’t perform a triple bypass, you were in a bad way. Strokes—the same. Stroke care consisted of finding a dark corner for you to sit in so you wouldn’t bother the rest of us. Orthopedic care was primeval. Psychiatric care made that facility in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest look like a health resort. Pre-natal care? There was no pre-natal care. Cross your fingers. Fast forward to 2010. The American health care industry has developed cures and treatments that in 1969 would have seemed miraculous. Cancer is no longer a death sentence. There’s such a thing as stroke care. Heart deaths, heart attacks, and heart disease have all dropped precipitously. Doctors, insurers, and society at large now recognize preventative care as a crucial way of life, and not just a luxury. Hey, they can perform surgery on babies in the womb. How Star Trek is that?

On to slightly less profound changes. Radical topic shift. Ever watch tape of an old football or baseball game from the 1960s? ESPN Classic shows those games all the time. Back in the late 1960s, the pros never made enough money to live the entire year off their paychecks, so most of them had to have other jobs in the off-season, like selling insurance. They couldn’t train during the off-season, and had to get back into shape during training camp. Even then, weight lifting was still regarded as a novelty, nutrition was prehistoric (lots of steaks and potatoes), staying hydrated just meant you were a big puss, and if you suffered almost any kind of injury you were pretty much through. Speed ahead 40 years later. Athletes train year round. Training techniques have become revolutionized, as has the understanding of the roles that nutrition plays. Sports medicine was not a term in 1969, but now is a recognized medical specialty. The athletes we watch at the pro and college level can all run circles around their 1969 counterparts. They’re bigger, faster, stronger and quicker. They have greater stamina. At 7’ 1”, Wilt Chamberlain was a freak. Today he’d be one of many seven footers. Jim Brown ran over and around 6’, 230 lb. linebackers. It’s not terribly clear he could do the same against 6’, 1” 250 lb. Ray Lewis. The advent of summer skills camps, better coaching at the high school and even lower levels, organized recreational leagues, and even private coaching has given today’s average athletes skills that only the elite level players possessed in 1969. Routine procedures cure injuries that in 1969 would have ended careers, and rehabilitation techniques get players back on the field or on the court in a fraction of the time of their 1969 counterparts. None of this is to say that the actual games are any better. HBO recently showed the 1958 NFL Championship Game between the Colts and Giants, widely regarded as the greatest NFL game of all time. I wrote about this at the time. Most of those players were clearly inferior to today’s athletes, just going on size, strength, quickness, and conditioning. Say what you will, its more exciting watching, yet the actual game was every bit as exciting as some of the best games played in the last 10 years. So the players and the level of play have improved markedly, though maybe it hasn’t resulted in more exciting games.

You know, though kids face of lot of perils and in many ways aren’t as happy or healthy, they’re better in some respects now than before. The average 10 year old knew very little about the world in which he lived. That kid had very little information, and didn’t care too much about the world beyond the end of the street. That second grader was still trying to learn how to read and write, and do basic math. Childhood nutrition largely consisted of whatever government cheese provided by someone’s cousin that his school got stuck with. At home it was beanie weenies and Hamburger Helper (which, as Cousin Eddie reminded us, is good enough to eat without the hamburger). Staying out side all day in the sun, soaking up the rays til you turned red was common. Outside of the basic immunizations, kids didn’t have to endure too much in the way of preventive medicine. Parents used to turn kids loose on the streets in the mornings, feed them at lunch, and have them come home when it got dark. Now they are reading even before they make it to school, and with computers and calculators can perform all sorts of advanced math much earlier. They get all kinds of instructions and lessons and develop skills at earlier ages. Though they probably face more and more frequent dangers and threats, they’re also much more aware of those dangers and of the world around them. Yes it’s a loss of childhood innocence, but perhaps that’s just another way of saying that they’re developing faster and better. Or at least catching up to all those Japanese spelling bee winners, with their holier than thou attitudes. Learning English in five days, and then winning the spelling bee the next weekend. And while so many of them are big enough to make Augustus Gloop worry about their health, kids are generally bigger, stronger, faster, and mature more quickly than in 1969. They basically make kids better than they used to, and when they don’t, we can care for them better than we used to.

We adults are better too. Life spans are increasing, and attaining the age of 65 no longer seems remarkable. Not only that, old age no longer represents a long, slow death march consigned to a life of Guy Lombardo records, broken hips, pungent smelling nursing homes, and scaring your grandkids with stories about some kid from back in elementary school who didn’t learn his math tables and went on to get killed robbing a bank. If only he had learned math….Something strange happened. The “Mad Men” three-martini lunch lifestyle gave way to healthy living, and people now are reaping the rewards. In 1969, the dad still came home from work, having already smoked a couple of packs of cigarettes and having wine and fat for lunch, to down a couple of martinis, smoke more cigarettes, eat a dinner containing more fat at one sitting than the modern average weekly diet, sit inert for a couple of hours, then go to bed (after the day’s last cigarette). Exercise? That’s something you did in P.E. back in school. Hell, even professional athletes didn’t work out except when they were in season. Sunscreen? That consisted of mineral oil smeared all over one’s body to get an even better tan. Fresh food was difficult to find; asking for organic food might net some raised eyebrows. “Low fat” was just a variety of milk (which, by the way, was hard to find). People poured salt over everything like the more they used the bigger their chance of winning the lottery. All these changes, along with medical advances, are paying off. Things that would have killed you in 1969 won’t necessarily do so today, and you’re less likely to get those things by practicing some relatively innocuous preventative measures like walking daily, drinking moderately, stopping smoking and avoiding sun exposure, cutting fat intake and eating fresh foods. People today are much more active than their 1969 counterparts, taking active vacations where, for example, they’ll hike the Grand Canyon rather than just get out of their car, stand on the rim, and look out for 15 minutes. Though people still have problems with weight, at least there’s a general recognition that excess weight is a problem, and that drugs or crash diets isn’t the way to resolve the problem. Better public sanitation, water treatment policies, disease prevention, pest eradication, and food quality oversight has had a noticeable positive impact as well. Older people are more active too, taking trips, joining clubs, going on outings, and staying active well after their retirement. Companies catering to these active seniors have cashed in by developing living communities catering to active retirees. Oldsters previously content to shuffle off to Florida or South Texas to die (in the heat, because for some reason 72 degree weather is like being consigned to the Yukon Ice Sheet) now flock to places like Sun City, for example, or Round Rock. Due to redistributive social programs disproportionately slanted in favor of older people (who in turn have the highest voter turnout rates), oldsters generally have better medical and social care than any other age group. In short, people themselves are in most cases better physically than their 1969 counterparts, at all ages, and can expect to live longer lives than in 1969.

Let’s make another radical topic shift to the arts. Remember how stilted the acting was in most movies back in 1969? Other than Brando, Newman, and the other relatively limited number of method actors, most came from the Tony Curtis “look good and say the lines perfectly” acting school. Movies were shot on Technicolor or other type of film stock, dependent upon enormously complicated lighting and sound apparatus to get shots. Movies cost a lot of money to make, so the major studios, with their financial resources, controlled movie making and therefore wanted traditional “stars” to ensure they recovered their investment. So-called independent movies existed, but largely in the guise of the studios having some money to throw around and using it as seed money for various projects. Likewise, the music industry was a monolith. Getting a “record deal” was everything, because the medium of music listening was object-based (excellent microphones and magnetic tape to record the music, an acoustically superior studio to focus the sounds, a record and a record player) and it took an industry with financial wherewithal to finance the recordings themselves, and produce and distribute the records. Unless you’re talking about the Beatles or Frank Sinatra, the musicians themselves could never afford to make their own recordings, and even the Beatles lost their shirt on Apple Records in the end. So the “recording industry” held a stranglehold on musical development by deciding which acts to record. None of this is true now. On the movie side, the good-looking but glassy eyed, laconic star can’t work in Hollywood today. Unless his name is Tom Cruise. Now, nearly everyone in movies can act. The performances are a quantum improvement over the average 1969 counterparts. Every college has a school of acting, and every town has an acting coach. Good performances beget more good performances, and with the abundance of quality acting, the movie-going (or renting) public will no longer accept a bunch of stiffs on screen (again, except for Tom Cruise). On the production side, someone with a good idea for a movie need no longer beg the studios to develop it and in the process be relegated to the sidelines while committees of cost-sensitive, Spago-going guys in suits who’ve never actually made a movie ram through focus-group tested changes. Can you imagine something like Sony Pictures making The Godfather today? They’d turn it either into the feel-good gangster movie of the summer (more scenes with Vito playing with little Michael in his orchard, maybe with Marisa Tomei playing Connie), or into an explosion movie featuring Vin Diesel single-handedly mowing down the Tattaligia family with a machine gun. Movie making technology has advanced to the point where nearly anyone with the know-how and initiative, who can scrape together less financing than some people’s down payments on their houses, can make a movie. The key now is getting a distribution deal, and that involves going on the film festival scene. The break on the studio stranglehold means that all kinds of movies on all kinds of subjects can get made. On the music side, computers have basically rendered all the objects (even the musical instruments themselves, sadly) obsolete. No need for expensive recording studios, magnetic tape, record plants, cassette decks, record players, or any of that. Computers can do it all. Music is no longer tied to some physical object (such as the record or the tape); people can share it through e-mails and internet downloads. All that costs a mere fraction of 1969’s production costs. Bands can bypass those blood-sucking record executives and put out their own music. And do their own publicity. So we no longer have to settle for whatever music that Capital or Columbia or RCA or Decca or any of those record labels thought we’d like. On the other hand, there’s really no such thing as bands that write, play and record music any more. They need to be on American Idol to have any chance of success. This newfound freedom has given us…Britney Spears. Ok, I take it back. We need more guys in suits bribing DJs.

Careening to the next topic, remember that 1969 car of yours? It was really cheap, a great bargain. And it ran on regular gas. You could easily work on it and do most of your own maintenance and repairs. On the other hand, the air conditioner never worked, it had a lap belt only, no airbags, and pretty much was toast in most collisions. It guzzled gas, which while cheap in 1969, isn’t so much today. Most models spewed pollution. Had relatively uncomfortable bench seats. The glass would shatter into a million pieces in a collision. Today’s cars are a far cry from 1969. They may not look as cool, but they’re far more advanced in terms of safety and performance. They emit only a fraction of pollutants of 1969 models. Non-American models are far more efficient, reliable, and durable. Even some American models are better than their 1969 counterparts on that score. Most cars today feature standard equipment that would have seemed like something on the Jetsons—On Star or other GPS navigation, airbags, solid body chassis, computerized equipment settings, vastly improved fuel efficiency, and fire resistance. Tires have improved, windows have improved, the seats are more comfortable. They may not be as artistic looking as some 1969 models, but today’s car is leaps and bounds better in nearly every other way.

One could say much the same thing about a wide range of consumer products. Nearly everything is safer and more reliable. Remember buying canned food back in 1969? After you used the hand-operated can opener to saw off the top, it left an extremely sharp metal ring on the inside that half the time would nearly cut off one or more fingers. Most of the cans had some type of lead lining, slowly poisoning the contents. Not any more. Think of a whole range of products—chances are they’re better and safer than in 1969. Ladders, lawn mowers, toasters, refrigerators, freezers, televisions, stereos, ovens, cameras, hair dryers, washing machines, dishwashers, lawn darts…ok, maybe that one was a miss. Virtually anything you can get in a Best Buy (or a WalMart) will be safer, more efficient, have more uses, and on an inflation-adjusted basis be the same or a similar cost as its 1969 version. Why? Government regulation to some extent, the expansion of products liability lawsuits and consumer protection statutes, each have played a role. But in the end, market forces played the biggest part. Quality sells. Performance sells. As incomes have risen and people have recognized that a bargain doesn’t inevitably constitute the cheapest available alternative, people have sought out the safer, better performing, more reliable alternative. Companies make money by promoting quality.

While we’re at it, shopping has improved too. WalMart, Amazon, and Best Buy may be the devil, and they may have put Main Street out of business, but they wouldn’t have made money hand over fist if they weren’t satisfying consumer demand. If WalMart wasn’t doing a better job of giving people what they want than the mom and pop stores, then they’d still be in business. No one has to go to WalMart or Best Buy. But those companies have utilized economies of scale and wholesale buying discipline to provide merchandise at significant price savings than the smaller stores. These companies have helped people save money at a time in this country’s history when times are lean, and people need all the help they can get. To the argument that they’ve put the small businesses of America out of work, I say who cares? Our economy is founded on competition. If bankruptcy is never a possibility, one loses the drive to innovate, to control costs, to provide consumers with what they want. All those moms and pops that used to own their businesses can go to work at WalMart. So you say, WalMart doesn’t pay as much or provide health care or other benefits. Your best pal and Man of the People (former Law Professor Barack) is solving that last problem. As to the former, again, that’s just too bad. WalMart’s salary structure helps it to provide goods at low cost. No one has to work for WalMart either. They can learn a new trade, open another business not competing with WalMart, or they can compete with WalMart offering something WalMart doesn’t, like higher quality merchandise or better service. That’s been a successful formula for hundreds of companies selling higher priced but better quality merchandise than WalMart carries. The capitalist economy, left largely unfettered, solves these kinds of problems.

I want to say a word about judging. That is, American state and federal judges. 1969 was around the time that judges began to think they could solve all society’s woes themselves. Who needs a Congress or a legislature when with the stroke of a pen, they can order whole industries to change, institutions to adopt new policies, change the very fabric of society. Judges ran amok in the 1970s, taking over prisons, elections, schools, hospitals, government budgets, employment agreements…the list goes on and on. All by finding that the Constitution created privacy rights, and numerous other bogus rights never intended by the Constitution’s authors. They also opened the doors to what essentially constituted a run on corporations by plaintiff’s personal injury lawyers, by recognizing as “authoritative” all kinds of junk scientific theories designed to bamboozle 12 jurors in backwaters like Talloquah, Oklahoma into rendering multi-million dollar verdicts for the most ridiculous of claims. What’s wrong with that? Nine lawyers in robes should not make the country’s most fundamental decisions. Congress should (God help us). Today, there’s still judges who think they know how to govern better than the legislature. But like the number of games Shaquille O’Neal plays each season, their numbers have dwindled considerably. Even liberal judges inclined to find “rights” under every rock now tend to shy from invalidating legislation and taking over portions of the government. They also seem to manage their cases more aggressively, throwing out obviously meritless lawsuits. 1980s and 90s tort reform acted a sharp rebuke to this type of judge. Having failed to implement civil laws according to the popular consensus supporting them, legislatures acted to strip judges of power to redistribute wealth under the guise of compensating victims. Public revulsion over naked “government by judicial fiat,” coupled with nearly bipartisan insistence on fidelity to legislation, also acted to reel in the judges. We seldom find judges running school districts or prisons or hospitals now. That’s a vast improvement; there’s not many judges I would trust to run a local Kiwanis Club Pancake Breakfast and Raffle, much less a major public institution like the prison system.

Ping-ponging around once again, think about improvements in food quality and food choice. In 1969, your grocery store may have had courteous and friendly sackers, but it was basically a death zone; a cesspool of preservatives, bacteria, and artificial additives. Cancer causing cyclamates, Red dye no. 2 (remember the Red M&M scare?), produce covered in a fine pesticide and insecticide film. Everything natural about that food had been denuded by the time it reached the grocery store. There was one and only brand of whole wheat bread available, Roman Meal, and if you bought it people gave you weird looks. But maybe not as weird as if you bought Grape Nuts, advertised by that nature freak Ewell Gibbons. You know, the guy that could make about 92 uses out of tree bark? Or Wheaties, which in reality doesn’t have very much fiber per serving. Personally I was a Captain Crunch connoisseur, or on special occasions, Pop Tarts. Basically I ate like some computer game/Dungeons and Dragons weirdo (or pothead) until I was about 20. Organic food? That was something hippies ate. After all, food was already organic, right? Things are vastly different today. Though most grocery stores still offer about the same amount of crap, there’s a much wider variety of crap from which to choose, and its generally safer and less adulterated. Most stores offer a number of fresh food options, and a growing amount of organic (or quasi-organic) selections. Specialty grocery stores are sprouting everywhere, focusing on selling high quality, fresh, local food without preservatives (or with minimal preservatives), and made organically. And yet we’re still fat. At least we live longer. And get to watch more TV channels in the process.

This could go on forever, so I’ll just arbitrarily stop after observing how architecture, and buildings generally, have improved. Something happened after World War II in architecture circles. The minimalists won. Somewhere along the way it became uncool to want buildings to show something other than their bare structure. I guess this school would have us walk around as just skeletons, devoid of skin, because that’s just unneeded flourish. Hence, the 1960s and 70s gave us the dreaded glass box skyscraper, the multi-purpose sport stadium, the big huge box convention center, the Borg-ship cube looking malls, all concrete buildings, the University of Houston, and other architectural blights. The horror! These people could get excited looking at a Soviet housing block. But despite having something of a 1970s heyday (can we get rid of the Pennzoil Towers yet, since, you know, there’s no such thing as Pennzoil any more-yeah, Shell owns them?), that design aesthetic has bit the dust. You can now enjoy looking at modern buildings. At the same time, the engineers improved too. Today’s buildings are far more energy efficient, safe, secure, and adaptable to different uses. They can be built for less cost, and due to building code improvements, they’re generally safer than their 1960s counterpart.

So that’s it. More Songs about Buildings and Food, I guess.