Apologies for yet another rejected Esquire magazine style article. Here's my latest list of things approved and disapproved for the sporting life. Omitted are things I've discussed in previous posts.
Approved:
Chelsea Handler
Lance Zierlein
Tina Fey
Bluebonnet Cafe in Marble Falls
Fred's Lounge in Mamou
Kilgore Rangerettes
early Beatles
Cajun food
Mangia Pizza
Mrs. Johnson's donuts
the Hill Country
Louisiana women calling you "baby"
Mountain laurel
Breaux Bridge Crawfish Festival
1965 Mustangs
Austin in the spring
Family (and family businesses)
The Ramones
South Louisiana
Thank you notes
Dana Delany
Cleburne's Cafeteria
Crossword puzzles
"Aggressiveness on the basepaths" if you know what I mean
Letting people into traffic
Alamo Drafthouse
Fenway Park
The Mob
Paramount Theatre summer movie festival
Disapproved:
"Mom jeans"
Skorts
The Hills
Obesity
Airlines
Cell phones, blackberries, and texting
Downtown drivers
Tanning
Fake breasts (unless they're tastefully done of course)
Bling
Over 40s using teen slang
Meetings
The volleyball scene in Top Gun
Yard work
Oscar parties
The NCAA
High fives
Public financing of stadiums
Hauling air (i.e. owning a huge vehicle not used for its intended purpose)
Office parties
Celine Dion
Land Rovers and the people who own them
Cruises (except Alaska cruises)
* * * *
Last Monday at Central Market, the guy in the Hank Williams shirt was not there. In his place was a CM employee whom I encountered in the men's room working his mojo. This guy was working really hard-he'd wash his hands for about a minute, enter the stall and not close the door, exit after about a minute, then dance in front of the mirror Stevie Wonder-style for another minute to the music in his mind. The first time I thought it was just creepy, but after seeing it two or three times I was riveted. Was it obsessive compulsive disorder, leftover x, or just a really ill-timed flashback? I chalk it up to keeping Austin weird. Note to self-never go to the Central Market men's room.
2 comments:
OK, I have to ask what you were doing in the men's room so long that you could witness this man's routine? O.o
And if I didn't use slang, I couldn't communicate with my children. And I couldn't pwn them properly either. :D
I second Lisa's question. And really, what's wrong with skorts?
Post a Comment