The Psychedelic Mix Tape

You know the Woodstock generation of the 1960s that were so full of themselves and conceited? None of those people could dance.

Charlotte Pingress, The Last Days of Disco

Actually Sly Stone was at Woodstock and he could dance. Sort of. Carlos Santana and Joan Baez sure can't dance though.

There's been some fun things going on around here from time to time. I had a weekend trip recently. Got to see the Fourth of July fireworks by walking to the end of my street. My best friend and the greatest religion writer of all time, Kimberly, and our good friend from college and the greatest Kilgore Rangerette of all time, Lisa, visited me one weekend. My secretary wondered about two married women staying with me for the weekend. Let me tell you, it was non-stop naked Twister around here. By that, I mean it was a weekend of beading, getting to sleep early, eating healthy food, watching An American in Paris and Singin' in the Rain at the Paramount, and talkin' about kids, knitting, and health problems. In short, it was bad-ass awesome. I also went home for my niece Abigail's birthday and saw most of the family too.

But overall, its been pretty grim here at Daily Affirmations. The dog days of summer have begun about six weeks early, what with one 100 degree day after another. Running at the trail has been more like a nightly reenactment of the Bataan Death March (with fewer beatings and beheadings). Some people really close to me are having some bad medical troubles or other personal troubles. My work often resembles a hostage negotiation situation more than practicing law. Celebrities are dropping like flies. Hugh Hefner and Barbara Walters are extremely nervous right about now. I'm turning 45 in about a month, which seems unimaginable, but for some reason my back and right hip are now old enough to qualify for Social Security by themselves. I observed the birthday anniversary of another close friend who passed away many years ago. And I have "tree troubles" at my house. That's not a euphemism, by the way. I had to have a tree surgeon come out. Which is also not a euphemism.

Its all showing up in this blog too. Alligators in lakes, separation of church and state, media coverage of celebrities, and from here its going on to Vietnam War protesters, gay marriage, and American Idol. How do you spell one of those Three Stooges noises when they're poking each other in the face?

So how about writing something happy for a change? Or at least something a little less preachy? Can't you just be nice?

I hear you America (and random countries around the world whose citizens hit this site for about eight seconds to download near-naked pictures of Catherine Zeta-Jones and Dara Torres). How about a mix tape?

Ok, what's the most ridiculous thing you can do? That's right-make a mix tape to impress a girl. As Debra Messing once put it in a Will and Grace episode: "A mix tape is not a project. It's something you do between bong hits." Think of that stupid scene in Say Anything where John Cusack holds up the boom box and plays In Your Eyes to serenade way out of his league Ione Skye, thereby annoying everyone in the neighborhood. What a noodge. Yeah, you know that guy made her some mix tapes before that unfortunate scene. Sort of like older and more losery John Cusack in High Fidelity, who also made mix tapes to impress girls.

As you know from reading this blog, revealing your embarrasments is liberating and empowering, so I sadly must disclose that I, now, brace yourself, I, as insanely cool as I am, came dangerously close to making a mix tape a few years ago to impress a girl. She really liked all kinds of music, and I'd have done just about anything for her (thanks everyone for all your warnings...maybe a little help next time please?). She mentioned once that although she liked 60s psychedelic music, she didn't have any in her ipod. So, you know how awesome I am right? I can add two and two, usually. I immediately set out to fulfill her psychedlic music needs (since, to my chagrin, I wasn't getting the opportunity to fulfill any of her other needs-hey, no accounting for bad choices).

So I drove home, and like a 14 year old boy anxious to be liked (or at least to get a little sweater lifting action), immediately began planning the definitive psychedelic playlist. The plan, such that it was, was to load up these songs on her ipod in a new playlist, which would so overwhelmingly impress and amaze her that she would succumb to my manly charms and wear my class ring (which as we all know from the drive-in scene in Grease means that she knows I respect her). Fortunately, at some early point in Project Mix Tape, I got distracted and never put together said playlist, thus allowing me to hang on, narrowly, to some semblance of dignity.

I did, however, list on a notepad all the songs that would have been on the playlist. I put the list on a shelf in the black hole more commonly known as the back third of my house, and promptly forgot all about it. Recently, however, like the evil ring in Lord of the Rings, it has resurfaced, seeking publicity (or at least for others to get to know it).

Therefore, for the first time, I give you, the Definitive Psychedelic Mix Tape (Playlist). Fire up the lava lamp, load up on the diet cokes, turn down the lights, turn off your mind, relax and float down stream. Please hold your questions until I'm through.

Who Loves the Sun-Velvet Underground
Armenia City in the Sky-the Who
Amazing Journey/Sparks-the Who
Tales of Brave Ulysses-Cream
In a Gadda da Vida-Iron Butterfly
You're Gonna Miss Me-13th Floor Elevators
You Just Keep Me Hangin' On-Vanilla Fudge
White Rabbit-Jefferson Airplane
Today-Jefferson Airplane
Legend of a Mind-Moody Blues
Blue Jay Way/Flying-the Beatles
Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds-the Beatles
Strawberry Fields Forever-the Beatles
I Am the Walrus-the Beatles
Tomorrow Never Knows-the Beatles
If 6 Was 9-Jimi Hendrix Experience
Are You Experienced-Jimi Hendrix Experience
Third Stone from the Sun-Jimi Hendrix Experience
Wasn't Born to Follow-the Byrds
Astronomy Domine-Pink Floyd
Saucerful of Secrets-Pink Floyd
See Emily Play-Pink Floyd
The End-the Doors
Crystal Ship-the Doors
When the Music's Over-the Doors
I Talk to the Wind-King Crimson
She's A Rainbow-Rolling Stones
2000 Light Years from Home-Rolling Stones
Who are the Brain Police-Mothers of Invention
Mother People-Mothers of Invention
Ball and Chain-Big Brother and the Holding Company
Section 43-Country Joe and the Fish
Not So Sweet Lorraine-Country Joe and the Fish
Dark Star-Grateful Dead
That's It for the Other One-Grateful Dead
Cosmic Charlie-Grateful Dead
St. Stephen-Grateful Dead
Fresh Air-Quicksilver Messenger Service
Hurdy Gurdy Man-Donovan
Crimson and Clover-Tommy James and the Shondells
Song for Jeffrey-Jethro Tull
White Bird-It's A Beautiful Day
Heart Full of Soul-Yardbirds
You Set the Scene-Love

What are your favorites?

Next-we return to seriousness. You Vietnam War protesters have your day of reckoning coming, so don't have too much fun kicking your hero Robert McNamara.