You may fool me
And I’ll fall
But I won’t stay down long
Cause I’m country strong
--Gwyneth Paltrow, "Country Strong"
From time to time here at Daily Affirmations, we open it up for others to school us about the burning issues of the day.
One such issue, of course, is noted stick figure/actress Gwyneth Paltrow’s performance at the Country Music Awards (no, not the Academy of Country Music Awards; I know, “how are these different” you ask? I guess its sort of like the difference between “Dukes of Hazzard” and “BJ and the Bear”, you just know it when you see it).
Those country folks sure have become more welcoming as of late. The Byrds played a couple of songs from their landmark Sweetheart of the Rodeo album at the Grand Ole Opry in 1968, to faintly polite applause at best, and outright heckling at worst. GP, however, got a standing O from this generation of rednecks. What kind of world is this? One of the stories making the rounds was that Miranda Lambert, one of dozens of country hot chick pixies who allegedly can sing just as good as they look, giving GP icy death stares while on stage (while conveniently off camera). Is it possible that Miranda somehow begrudges Gwyneth's “cut in line” privileges that comes from being a famous Hollywood actress? Or is she just another pretty face who made good and wants to keep everyone else out? All About Eve comes to country music. This can only get better.
Here with a guest view on this is Shane “Rowdy Dwayne” Dunker, music editor of the Corinth, Tennessee “Intelligincer” (that is not misspelled, BTW). Mr. Dunker, the page is yours, sir.
"Gwyneth Paltrow, country music newcomer, stole the show. By “show,” I mean the 44th annual Country Music Awards, held in Nashville. It was Gwyneth’s rendition of her new hit “Country Strong,” from the Hollywood movie of the same name, that was the night’s top performance.
The way she sang that song was from the heart. You could tell she’s walked a true country road. From the heartache and deprivation of being born to Hollywood star Blythe Danner and director Bruce Paltrow, to failed relationships with the likes of Brad Pitt and Ben Affleck, that’s just a lifetime of country problems that have obviously made her Country Strong.
When she sang “Cause I'm country strong, Hard to break, Like the ground I grew up on,” I could only think, “preach on, sister!” I mean, growing up on the mean streets of Santa Monica and going to private girls’ school in New York City, its like I can practically see her milking cows or riding in El Caminos or eating at the truck stop after the Friday night game. Who can doubt this Country Girl’s country heart?
Yes, Country Strong may as well be Gwyneth’s theme song, and I’m sure it will eventually become that as she tours mall openings, state-level beauty pageants, and state fairs throughout the southland. On the same bill with Jessica Simpson, no doubt. I have no doubts that when she sings, “I know you see me, Like some wide eyed dreamer, That just rolled in off a dusty mid west bus,” people will really tear up as they recall her dusty journey to summer acting camp in Vermont, the road back to Hollywood and beginning her life of struggles with immediately landing starring roles with the likes of Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman.
And what Grande Dame of country music hasn’t won the Academy Award for portraying English nobility during the 16th Century, and guest starred in Glee? No one worth listening to. I bet Dolly Parton never did Shakespeare. Nope. Dolly only starred with Burt Reynolds. How is that Country Strong? And I bet none of them have married someone from Coldplay and named their little girl Apple. Nope. That’s as country as June Carter Cash.
Now, some of these uppity New York critics, who are probably lighting a candle every night lately if you know what I mean, have gotten a little above themselves with airs about how Gwyneth shouldn’t have been on the same stage as Loretta Lynn. These people just don’t belong, and they don’t understand.
What has Loretta Lynn done compared to Gwyneth? Loretta wasn’t even in her own movie; they had to get that chick from Carrie, clean her off, and try to teach her to sing. That’s not Country Strong. And all that wailing and moaning about how she was a coal miner’s daughter and Patsy Cline’s best friend. Big deal. Gwyneth was a Hollywood actress’ and director’s daughter and models for Estee Lauder. That’s real pressure right there. Loretta was married at 13 and had five kids before she was 19? So what. Gwyneth was on Saturday Night Live. Loretta was the Country Music Association’s first female “Entertainer of the Year” and has been in the Country Music Hall of Fame for 20 years? Big deal. Gwyneth knows Luke Wilson. Again, that’s Country Strong. So you “critics” need to just step back and respect a country girl.
I’m looking forward to country hit after country hit from Gwyneth. With all those pickers and pedal steel players in England, where Gwyneth lives, that should be pretty easy to accomplish.
Love you Gwynny!"
Uh, thanks Rowdy Dwayne. I'm sure we'll be seeing you and your wife and 12 kids outside a Cracker Barrel real soon. That will end our guest spot here at Daily Affirmations.
Next-the third and final installment of the NCAA infractions trilogy. Which is only slightly less entertaining than the Star Wars trilogy. You thought I had forgotten, didn't you?
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