You know what they say about a car wreck, where it's so awful you can't look away? The Dundies are like a car wreck that you want to look away from but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you.
-Pam, The Office
Can we all withstand one more post about the Jazz Festival? Between frequent Facebook updates, nightly blogs, and tons of photos uploaded to flickr, I've given this thing more coverage than Dennis Kucinich's presidential campaign received. From anyone. Why on earth that hobbit ever thought anyone would vote for him is beyond me. Sean Penn's support should have been a dead giveaway. He'd have been better off with Kim Jong Il's endorsement. This is going to be the Goldmember of blog posts. Running things into the ground is no way to run a blog. But then again, its either this or part 3 in my morality series-how to live your life. Its like deciding between watching paint dry or the ceiling fan spin. Or watching C-SPAN. So Jazz Fest it is.
Thought I'd do a little wrap up piece. In the tradition of the Dundies, I'm giving out my own "Jazzies." Its a little unfair, because I only attend the second weekend. Lots of really good musicians appeared the first weekend who undoubtedly rocked the house. But they don't make the cut because I wasn't there. Basically, outside the religious arena, I don't believe in anything that happens outside my field of vision (which of course includes things I see on television). Or hearing, which these days occupies much less acreage than vision. This highlights some "bests" and a few "worsts" from Weekend 2 of the Festival. I've pretty much summed up everything in previous posts, so just keep scrolling down for the relevant entry.
Enjoy!
Best Act-Trombone Shorty (Gentilly Stage, Saturday). This guy has transformed from a fantastic horn player who can sing to a dynamic entertainer who commands the stage and the crowd. He guested in about four or five other shows, showing that everyone wants to get with this guy. Enjoy your rise to the top. Honorable Mention: Sonny Rollins (Jazz Tent, Sunday).
Worst Act-Kermit Ruffins (Congo Square, Friday). Its not that Ruffins was literally the "worst" act at the show. I stayed quite awhile, but quickly left other shows that didn't interest me in the slightest. Maybe the better way to put it is "most disappointing act." I'd hoped for more.
Best "Find"-Gal Holiday and the Honky Tonk Review (Gentilly Stage, Friday, and Kid's Tent, Saturday). Check my review. Basically this is a smooth, but local, "western" band ("we've got both kinds, "country" and "western"). Bob Wills, Hank Williams, Patsy Cline, Webb Pierce...it just doesn't get much better. Looking forward to seeing them again.
Best Stage-the Gentilly Stage. This is the smaller of the two large stage. It usually hosts the "B" headliner each evening. This year it seemed to have the more interesting acts. The Gentilly Stage was the site of Cyndi Lauper, Willie Nelson, the Strokes, Trombone Shorty, the Radiators' farewell show, and Gal Holiday.
Worst Stage-the Acura Stage. Acura, the headliner stage, by contrast had some duds. Jimmy Buffett, Voices of the Wetlands All Stars, Kid Rock, Wilco, anesthetizing Lucinda Williams, Arcade Fire, and another mailed in performance from the Neville Brothers. Plus, every year the Acura Stage area winds up resembling a refugee camp. Seas of sweating bodies sidling up against one another, squalor, filth, haze, long lines for drinks, and idiots. I tell you it was like being at Woodstock without the acid. Stay too long and you risk catching the Ebola virus.
Best New Development-the Haiti Pavilion. Not sure if they intend this to return next year, but it was fun checking out a little of the Haitian culture. Its not all human rights violations, abject poverty and earthquake-induced carnage. Haiti has a very rich and strong culture. All this and voodoo too. Kind of like watching Live and Let Die, without that stiff Roger Moore. Or, unfortunately, Jane Seymour either.
Best Food-crawfish bread. Hands down. Simple, elegant. Well, sort of. Take a buttery po-boy loaf, fill it with cheese, peppers, and crawfish, and you've got yourself a little slice of heaven. You've also got yourself a triple bypass. But its one heck of a way to go. Plus its easy to carry around with you to the next stage, and easy to eat.
Best Photo-I only took about a million of them. The one above, even though poorly framed (I don't think I stopped walking to my car to take it), was my favorite. It shows the setting sun reflecting in a very old window on a building next to Cabrini High School. Something about the very pale pink in the white paint, contrasted with the brilliant orange sun twisted in the old style glass, seems very compelling.
Best Meal After the Fest-Grilled trout, Zea's Rotisserie and Grill (St. Charles Avenue). Unlike past visits, I didn't really search out fine dining. At nights I tried to work out, grab something to eat, then spent entirely too long writing my posts. So dinner time was at a premium. This is a chain, but still relatively local. By no means a Chili's. Excellent fish, simply prepared.
Best Non-Fest Experience-No it wasn't my date with the midget albino Guatemalan hooker. That's just so Raven. No, it was dinner with my brother Ron, also at Zea's.
Best Reason to Go to the Grandstand-not the cooking demonstrations, but a photographic exhibit of jazz legends by Herman Leonard. Mesmerizing black and white photos of the greatest artists in American history-Ellington, Fitzgerald, Gillespie, Davis, Holiday, Sinatra...on and on.
Oddest Moment-three or four times a day, people asked me for directions or other questions one would ask a Jazz Festival "official." Guess I've perfected that "looks like he knows what he's doing" look. I give my Dad credit for that. There have undoubtedly been times he hasn't known what's going on or what to do, but its never registered in his expression or mannerisms. Similar to my rule that its better to look like you know what you're talking about than to actually know what you're talking about, look like you know what the hell you're doing too.
Most Infuriating Event-Hard to find one, but I'd say the evil competitive booking of the last time slot of the Festival. From roughly 5 to 7, one had to choose between (or miss some of) Maze and Frankie Beverly, Sonny Rollins, the Radiators' farewell concert, the Neville Brothers, Glen David Andrews, and Rockin' Dopsie. I call "shenanigans" on that one.
Best T-Shirt: "DRUNKSTRONG"
Biggest Surprise: the 8,000+ hits on my flickr site, entirely attributable to photos of the Strokes concert. A "high" day on that site is under 100 views. Those boys sure must be popular.
Ok, that's just about enough. Another Festival has come and gone. Luckily, this year, my back wasn't crying out for codeine or a steroid shot, so maybe this whole exercise thing is paying off. Looking forward to another four-day weekend in the sun next year. Hope you can join me again.
One more thing. Join me in prayers or good vibes to the universe or whatever is your inclination for the passing of Harmon Killebrew. Thanks to steroids, we've forgotten some of the all-time greats of baseball, whose honestly earned statistics have been eclipsed by pharmaceutically enhanced muscle freaks. Killebrew played 20 years in Minnesota, quietly hitting 2,000 hits and 573 home runs. He had eight seasons of 40 or more home runs. He is one of four players in history to hit a ball out of Tiger Stadium over the left field fence (Reggie Jackson hit his, which actually hit the light tower, over the shorter right field fence). Most importantly, he was a real gentleman, one of the last real "role models" in the game. In a world of manufactured celebrity and unearned acclaim, Killebrew was the real thing.
Next-how to live your life. I know. Just bear with me.
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