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And, yes, I stumbled across some bad stuff. Very bad stuff.
I will now give away the plot of every Lifetime movie, thereby sparing you those couple of hours (did you know you can buy these things? You know, because there's not any actual real movies available on Netflix):
Husband is an attractive but swarthy looking beater/abuser/murderer. (Think some B-grade Andy Garcia type, with scars and/or tattoos). Who forgets his Wife’s (Jennie Garth or Janine Turner) anniversaries and birthdays, obvs. And is mean to her girlfriends (he like doesn't compliment their brand new shoes when they go to dinner parties or some other Neanderthal move). And doesn’t notice when his wife changes her hair. And doesn't act completely supportive at the kids' soccer games. And forgets the anniversary of their sixth date. And wears flip flops when its not appropriate. And sometimes is sleeping with her workplace arch rival.
The Supportive Friend/Cousin/Sister and helpful male friend (either gay or too much of a wuss to make a move-think Jim on The Office) slowly find out what’s going on, and scheme to help. Generally they visit some expert who schools them on the particular psychopathic disorder the Husband suffers, acting as a plot device to let the audience know what the hell is going on.
They hint around with the Wife until the 1 1/2 hour mark, and right before the commercial, they stage a quasi-intervention with the Wife. Who is resistant at first, because, you don't know him like I do/I can't hurt the kids/I'm a complete and total idiot (that's usually implied). But shortly after the commercial, she finally gives in, when…
The Husband does some horrible terrible thing (like, giving her sister a series of extra long and creepy hugs then bringing home some stability reinforced bondage equipment), putting the W’s life (and/or kids) in jeopardy.
Supportive Friend/Cousin/Sister and Helpful Male Friend work with the wife to thwart the Husband’s plans. They call the police, who arrive right when Husband starts freaking out. Not before, and not after. Exactly when the Freak Out happens (seven minutes before the credits).
Sensitive Hunky Cop, who listens and likes to cuddle (and who’s ex-wife was a Total Bitch) shows up at the end to protect Wife, and asks her out as they’re taking Husband off to prison. Actually, he doesn't ask her out. He just says something that implies they're going to be together. Like through the whole movie, Wife keeps blathering on about how she loves the movie His Girl Friday, then as SHC is leaving he makes some reference to His Girl Friday and winks at her (she looks back longingly).
Zoom out...the end.
2 comments:
Since I am the night owl and still up, I was relieved to take a break from the exciting world of measurement/trend analysis to be enlightened by your, uh, movie..."madness"??
What were YOU thinking? A non-equal lapse? I would think for a intellect, such as you are and all that #Baller swag you possess and speak about, that somewhere in your cerebral cortex, (the one that plays an important role in consciousness) that your movie "standards" button would of ignited and your good senses kick you in the derriere.
Besides the fact that you are a movie "snob" and in the past, been compelled to educate the lower class movie watchers with (Top 10 Movies of all Time, Top 10 scenes, Top 10 scores) etc..I am surprised by this public confession and so disappointed. Bad, indeed Mr. Reeder. Where's the class?
There's only one thing left to do here.
1. Revoke your movie card privilege until further notice.
2. Compulsion of a "Classic" high quality film, like, maybe something such as - Splendor in the Grass, with Natalie Wood & Warren Beatty. Yeah, I'm pushing it. Here's a quote from the movie that's actually in the movie spoken by Natalie who's a favorite writer of mine...
“Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be...”
― William Wordsworth (Intimations of Immortality)
Here's a fav:
“The best portion of a good man's life: his little, nameless unremembered acts of kindness and love.” and another..“Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.”
And you went to the 2015 TMC Film festival....Tsk-tsk. They may not let you come back next year.
Get HBO NOW and stay away from the Lifetime channel, it is bad for your IQ.
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