Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more ....
As you all know by now, like Gale Stoatts in Raising Arizona, I never go anywhere without a reason. The reason for this blog is to educate and uplift through examination. Yet, typically I do not apply to myself the Socratic maxim that an unexamimed life is not worth living. Most of you know that I live my life by a copious set of rules that rival the Torah (hell, my Girlfriend Manual alone is at least three chapters). But figuring that now is a good time to reflect on some of those rules, I decided to take on three of those rules tonight - never go anywhere near crowds that doesn't involve music or sports, never go to 6th Street (ever), and never do the stuff your town is known for. These rules normally serve me well, having protected me from the Austin City Limits Music Festival/Heat Stroke Cavalcade, the half of College Station that comes to Austin on weekends, and Halloween on 6th Street. But with a view to making some changes, I decided to do something I've never done in the nearly 20 cumulative years I've lived here, going to Halloween on 6th Street.
Now, there's any number of reasons to avoid 6th Street like the plague-its filthy, disgusting, and full of drunks, punks, Aggies, frat boys, tech nerds, conventioneers, street people, street performers, angry cops, pickpockets, and Methodists. And that's on a good night. But Halloween is special. Everyone comes to 6th Street for Halloween. Half the people are there to strut their costume, the other half, like me, are there to watch.
So here's what I've been missing.
Apparently, Tina Fey was right in Mean Girls that Halloween is the one night of the year when women see absolutely no problem with dressing like total sluts. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Who knew? Its just a little disconcerting even for me to see 21 year old medical records clerk done up like she's open for business. Perhaps more pervasive is wearing an actual costume, but the trashy version. Trampy Dorothy from Kansas, Trampy Raggedy Ann, Trampy Legal Secretary, Trampy Investment Banker...you get the picture. More disturbing, however, are those women who, shall we say, the look doesn't flatter to their best advantage. The term "muffin top" comes to mind.
Its also amazing how many nominally straight-looking men seem so at ease dressing in drag for Halloween. What's that about? I noticed this particularly among frat-looking guys, towing their girlfriends around with trash can punch cups in hand.
I was alarmed at the number of little children there tonight, even after it got really crowded. Why on earth would anyone bring kids in strollers to 6th Street for Halloween, and stay as late as 10:30 (on a school night)? I know I'm "middle age man" and all, but geez louise! Check some of the pictures I posted on flickr. Where else do these people take their kids-drag races, shooting ranges, pit bull fights?
What else? No I didn't wear a costume. I'm older than 10, so, really.... Actually I did wear a costume a few years ago to please my then-girlfriend. I went as Burt Reynolds. More like I was Burt Reynolds. Naturally we had to break up, and she had to, how you say, "dissappear."
In short, I haven't been missing anything. Yet again, my rules prove to be appropriate and warranted. Enjoy the pictures on flickr: www.flickr.com/photos/chrisreeder I'll have them up tomorrow.
As you all know by now, like Gale Stoatts in Raising Arizona, I never go anywhere without a reason. The reason for this blog is to educate and uplift through examination. Yet, typically I do not apply to myself the Socratic maxim that an unexamimed life is not worth living. Most of you know that I live my life by a copious set of rules that rival the Torah (hell, my Girlfriend Manual alone is at least three chapters). But figuring that now is a good time to reflect on some of those rules, I decided to take on three of those rules tonight - never go anywhere near crowds that doesn't involve music or sports, never go to 6th Street (ever), and never do the stuff your town is known for. These rules normally serve me well, having protected me from the Austin City Limits Music Festival/Heat Stroke Cavalcade, the half of College Station that comes to Austin on weekends, and Halloween on 6th Street. But with a view to making some changes, I decided to do something I've never done in the nearly 20 cumulative years I've lived here, going to Halloween on 6th Street.
Now, there's any number of reasons to avoid 6th Street like the plague-its filthy, disgusting, and full of drunks, punks, Aggies, frat boys, tech nerds, conventioneers, street people, street performers, angry cops, pickpockets, and Methodists. And that's on a good night. But Halloween is special. Everyone comes to 6th Street for Halloween. Half the people are there to strut their costume, the other half, like me, are there to watch.
So here's what I've been missing.
Apparently, Tina Fey was right in Mean Girls that Halloween is the one night of the year when women see absolutely no problem with dressing like total sluts. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Who knew? Its just a little disconcerting even for me to see 21 year old medical records clerk done up like she's open for business. Perhaps more pervasive is wearing an actual costume, but the trashy version. Trampy Dorothy from Kansas, Trampy Raggedy Ann, Trampy Legal Secretary, Trampy Investment Banker...you get the picture. More disturbing, however, are those women who, shall we say, the look doesn't flatter to their best advantage. The term "muffin top" comes to mind.
Its also amazing how many nominally straight-looking men seem so at ease dressing in drag for Halloween. What's that about? I noticed this particularly among frat-looking guys, towing their girlfriends around with trash can punch cups in hand.
I was alarmed at the number of little children there tonight, even after it got really crowded. Why on earth would anyone bring kids in strollers to 6th Street for Halloween, and stay as late as 10:30 (on a school night)? I know I'm "middle age man" and all, but geez louise! Check some of the pictures I posted on flickr. Where else do these people take their kids-drag races, shooting ranges, pit bull fights?
What else? No I didn't wear a costume. I'm older than 10, so, really.... Actually I did wear a costume a few years ago to please my then-girlfriend. I went as Burt Reynolds. More like I was Burt Reynolds. Naturally we had to break up, and she had to, how you say, "dissappear."
In short, I haven't been missing anything. Yet again, my rules prove to be appropriate and warranted. Enjoy the pictures on flickr: www.flickr.com/photos/chrisreeder I'll have them up tomorrow.
5 comments:
I truly didn't expect to open your blog this morning and see a photo of you ensconced in 21 year old females....
Why do you look less than thrilled to be handcuffed to cleavage like that? Sheesh, Daren would tell me to throw the key into Lake Austin! LOL
Just remember that while you may be dismayed at the existence of Sixth Street, its presence means the drunks, punks, Aggies, frat boys, tech nerds, conventioneers, street people, street performers, angry cops, pickpockets, and Methodists (i.e., the unimaginative) have somewhere obvious to go which leaves your favorite haunts uncontaminated.
I guess folks bring their kids to Sixth Street on Halloween for the same reason they take them to Mardi Gras in Galveston or Vegas--gross stupidity. I guess they figure their presence take the curse off the debauchery.
Hey--you could have easily dressed up as a cross between Charlie Sheen (with or without the hookers) and Simon Cowell (the accent could have been hilarious or charming).
I swore off Halloween on 6th street years ago because I once went sober. THAT was a mistake.
Oh my.
The Cajun, raised in Texas and stuck in California prospective of 6th St Halloween. OMG! When did it become OK to carry a dilldo around in public? Granted I do live in the burbs and I did not go to West Hollywood on Oct 31st, but I was shocked to see that in the photos in my beloved Texas. I may have to rethink my retirement plans.
Next, the subject of parents dragging their kids everywhere. These parents either cannot afford a babysitter or they feel guilty because their child has been in a daycare center with 88 other orphans all day, so they feel compelled to bring baby along for "quality time" and Mom & Dad's night on the town which they deserve because they have worked so hard all day while someone else raises their child. Second explanation, parents still think they are in college and everyone's world would be missing something if they did not see the adorable Halloween costume that they bought for the cutest baby in the universe. Third explanation, parents do not understand the importance of protecting your child's innocence and exposing them to too much, too early has bad consequences later. Fourth, the Brittany explanation, a baby (ding-dang ya'll is so cute) is a good excuse to be the center of attention and to have a couple of parties, but that whole raising them to be good and happy human beings is a lot of work and really gets in the way of your appointment to get collagen injected into your lips. (Wow, I just realize I sound like Chris Reeder)
I love Mardi Gras, Vegas and R-rated movies, but I have seen very little of any of them in the last 16 years and I do not feel like I have missed out on anything.
Chris, keep on blogging and taking awesome pictures. It is always great to live vicariously through my hip-single friends!
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