"Baseball must be a great game, because the owners haven’t been able to kill it."
--Bill Veeck
Congress, however, is a different matter. Everything it touches turns to gold. Signed, Social Security reform.
Ok, something is going to happen tomorrow that if not entirely ground-breaking is at least at the forefront of what appears to be a new and very disturbing trend, namely, Congress' attempt to turn itself into the People's Court.
Tomorrow, the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, is having a hearing in which it has invited three witnesses. The only two anyone really cares about are Roger Clemens and Brian McNamee. Surely you've heard of these two. One is a (probably) retired pitcher and alleged steroid abuser, the other his former personal trainer who told George Mitchell's investigators he injected Clemens with steroids and human growth hormones (and maybe Clemens' wife Debbie). Sports radio, newspapers, TV talk and news shows, and water cooler chat (especially in Houston) has been rife with discussion about all the back and forth between Clemens' attorney and McNamee and his attorneys. A libel suit is pending in Houston federal court. IRS investigators are looking into Roger's dealings and could prosecute.
The House Committee in question primarily exists for the purpose of reviewing laws related to a number of issues, including: "Federal civil service, including intergovernmental personnel," "Government management and accounting measures generally," "Holidays and celebrations," and "Overall economy, efficiency, and management of government operations and activities, including federal procurement." Although it ostensibly has jurisdiction co-extensive with all other House committees, its main purpose is government oversight.
Fresh from all its resounding success in dealing with the public debt, the budget deficit, flood relief, and terrorism, Congress now appears poised to solve all other kinds of disputes affecting the public welfare. What's next, Charlie Rangel deciding who should have won the last American Idol competition? Orrin Hatch sorting out that nasty Paris Hilton-Nicole Richie spat? Steny Hoyer (he's the Majority Leader of the House) getting to the bottom of who's really Jamie Lynn's baby daddy? How about we put a new show on C-SPAN where Congressional committees decide who to kick off the island in Survivor? They could take calls too. But I understand. Who wants to sit through day after day of testimony on Homeland Security reorganization, or FEMA budget authorizations for FY 2009, or naming new post offices, when you can spend the day with Roger Clemens and other stars instead?
Every working day of every year, you can go to your local courthouse and watch trials in which people accuse each other of the most horrible things. Juries and judges, for which we pay taxes, decide who's right and who's wrong, who's lying and who's telling the truth. On the other hand, when there's a possibility of some widespread problem in an industry that could affect the public at large, we expect legislators to investigate that and determine if new laws are necessary. Although the lines blur, judges usually aren't legislators (or at least there's some notion that they ought not to be), and legislators aren't judges. That line exists because making the law is very different from deciding how to apply the law in particular cases.
But leave it to good ol' politicians. Generally no one pays any attention to them, even in campaigns, unless they've done something stupid. So since you won't listen when they ask, it looks like they've decided to feed off the celebrity of others. In the name of protecting the public, an entire committee of the United States House of Representatives, the people's body, model of democracy worldwide, the brainchild of James Madison, is delving into tabloid issues. All these public servants will spend the day getting to the bottom of this Roger Clemens mess, thereby protecting our kids from the evils of steroids (or vitamin B-12 shots as the case may be). That one or more might get their names and maybe faces (if they ask the right questions) in the paper or on the network newscasts is probably just a serendiptous coincidence. How any of this has to do with government oversight is not immediately obvious.
Politicians have always glommed off of stars for more publicity. I was working in the Texas Senate the day Kevin Costner visited, and the session just about ground to a halt from the rush of senators knocking each other down to get their picture made with Crash Davis. Every decent candidate tries to line up some star endorsements to further their campaign (Sean Penn endorsed Dennis Kucinich-guess it doesn't always work). Its just inevitable. Photo ops with celebrities are one thing, but holding kangaroo court to decide what essentially amounts to a public slap fight barely worthy of US magazine is quite another.
Its especially offensive these people are doing this over baseball. Most of these people look like they couldn't throw a ball if their lives depended on it. One of these idiots in the last steroid hearing called the Chicago White Sox 1919 "Black Sox" team the "Chicago Black Hawks." Another member asked if performance enhancing drugs really enhance performance. These folks will be saving our national pastime using the same intellectual acumen that leads them to cruise airport bathroom stalls for sex, have sex with pages, sexually harass their employees, take bribes from undercover FBI agents, bounce checks on the House Bank account, have $90,000 in cash in their freezer, launder campaign contributions...take your pick of Mensa-like decisions these people make every day.
Could they do worse for baseball than the owners? How do you like your visits to the Post Office?
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