Happy Mother's Day

I married your mother because I wanted children. Imagine my disappointment when you arrived."

Groucho Marx, "Horse Feathers"

Well, exactly.

This is to wish all the Moms out there a very happy remainder of this Mother's Day. You all deserve it. Even ostensibly "bad" mothers are still blessings. The special ones, of course, are off the chart.

The word "mom" is a deceptively simple way to describe the dozens of functions that mothers play in their children's lives: teacher, nurturer, supporter, protector, chauffer, friend, butler, cook, doctor, critic (both in a good and bad way, sometimes), referree, secretary, entertainer, fixer...the list just goes on and on. It would take a staff of about 20 to replace the average mother.

I remember the year I worked in New Orleans, I went with the head of the firm to Galveston where we had an emergency hearing in federal court. He told me to stay behind an extra day and go see my mother, and to do that any other time I was in or near Houston, because that was more important than the day of work I'd miss. He was right.

Where would any of us be without our mothers?

Who will still be there, in your corner, when everyone else in the world has let you down?

Who's the one person who will always laugh at your jokes when you're the worst joke-teller in the world?

Who'll still be there to help when you've made a total mess of your life and have nowhere else to turn?

Who can make you feel better than any doctor when you're sick?

Who will always tell you you're the most beautiful or handsome person in the world even though your face turns people to stone?

Who will embarrass you your whole life with ill-timed hugs and kisses?

Who's the one person who will do anything it takes to protect you from danger?

Who can always make you feel better when you're miserable and depressed?

Your mother, that's who.

So, all you Moms out there, I hope you had a great day. Everyone else, honor your mother "that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life."