Odds and Ends

Several thoughts here, none deserving an entire post.

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Our Texas Senate, replete with small government Republicans, once again has struck a blow for limited government. Not sure whether you knew this or not, but you are not smart enough to decide for yourself whether to eat food with trans fats in restaurants. Thankfully, our state government heroes have stepped in to protect you from yourself, banning the practice of restaurants serving food with trans fats. These guys are on a roll, having already saved us from the scourge of teenage tanning, and soon to agree to spend $2 million during these tough fiscal times on testing high school athletes for steroids. God forbid you should decide for yourself whether to eat this stuff or not. Oh, and just in the nick of time too, since restaurants are already eliminating this stuff without any government intervention. This is all part of what appears to be a genius plan to remake Texas into one gigantic suburb, creating a safe and comforting environment for soccer moms, cardigan-wearing dads, and their towhead kids. And to protect the children. Here's my list of other things we should ban, to protect the children and make suburbanites feel welcome everywhere they go:

1. Pointy objects (can get stuck in eyes or cause nasty bruises).
2. Dust. Causes coughing and allergies, and ruins the finish on fine furniture. And could have peanut vapor.
3. Two-door cars. Those are driven by people who don't have families, and who are therefore potential child molesters.
4. Cheerios. Oh, wait, that's for real.
5. Coldplay. They kind of suck. Time for the government to step in and protect us from buying their music.
6. Air. It might have peanut vapor.
7. Name-calling. Except in politics.
8. Being picked last for teams at recess (henceforth, teams shall be picked based on each child's social security number, in ascending order until a team is completely filled).
9. Keeping score, assigning grades, or any other sort of merit recognition system that makes losers, err, less ably gifted children aware of their less giftedness.
10. Left-handedness. They think they're so cool and lord it over the other kids. And they're more likely to have peanut vapor about them.
11. Soggy crab cakes. Nothing can shut down the perfect country club wedding down faster than this.
12. Girls with inadequately publicized coming out parties. They cast a pall over every Southern Living party they attend.
13. Unattractively landscaped homes.
14. Pants or shorts without elastic waistbands (because fixed size waistbands are intimidating and discriminatory).
15. Peanut vapor.

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Famous people I've seen (in person):

Gary Busey (falling down drunk in an elevator at the Dallas Loews' Anatole)
Burt Bacharach (also in a Dallas elevator, at the Adolphus Hotel)
JoBeth Williams (walking across the street in Santa Fe)
David Sedaris (at several book readings)
Cary Grant (when he came to UT)
Dennis Quaid (Hard Rock Cafe in Houston in the 1980s)
Rob Lowe (in New York)
Bianca Jagger (lobby of the Four Seasons in Houston)
Julia Roberts (possibly the most stunningly beautiful person I've ever seen in real life)
Sandra Bullock (who both times I saw her [once at the airport, once at the Miss Congeniality premiere] looked like a crack whore. Actually, that's unfair. More like, an assistant crack whore)
William Shatner (Miss Congeniality premiere)
Jesse Jackson (aforementioned Four Seasons lobby)
Ron Reeder (lots of times, especially at Christmas)

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The wildflowers along Town Lake (Lady Bird Lake) are finally thick, mainly with indian blankets, sunflowers, black-eyed susans, even some very late season bluebonnets. Basically its the grassy area on the north shore, starting from the outfield of the Austin High baseball field and going east all the way to Lamar Blvd. Get outside soon!

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People who performed at Woodstock that I've seen in concert:

Neil Young
The Grateful Dead
Richie Havens
The Who
Santana

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Teams I cheer for:

University of Texas Longhorns-everything
Louisiana State University Fighting Tigers-everything
Rice University Owls-everything
Houston Rockets (beat the Lakers!)
Houston Astros
Houston Texans
Houston Oilers (RIP)
New Orleans Saints
Kingwood High School Mustangs