My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, "You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don't make no difference to me, I'll make another one who looks just like you."
--Bill Cosby
I keep meaning to school y'all on how you're living in a Fool's Paradise if you think the Government is going to save you from, well, anything, but life keeps getting in the way of blogging. Confound it!
Father's Day, like all other holidays, has snuck up on me yet again. Aside from this annual opportunity to wallow in Boomer-esque self-pity over the fact that I've not been able to foist my own demon spawn upon the world, I totally love Father's Day. Its a chance to right the wrong that Dads live in Moms' shadow. Everyone gets all goofy and sentimental over Moms. Dads generally get a passing afterthought. At best. "Oh, yeah, you too Dad." Dads seem to resign themselves to their fate. It got to where whenever I'd call home, if Dad answered, I barely got out "hey its Chris" before Dad would respond, "oh, hi, let me get your mother." Then again, maybe the Rockets were on, which in my book is a completely justifiable reason to hand off the phone.
But as to Father's Day's non-BCS Bowl status on the holiday schedule, Hmmrpmph!!, I say. Moms generally do the hard work, but its not like Dad sits around on the couch all day. Well, not all Dads sit around on the couch all day.
Let's hear it for the Dads who are real Dads. We can leave out the ones whose contribution consisted of pre-birthing events only. As Chris Rock puts it, the Dads who "handle their business." The ones who teach you how to throw the ball, to hit, to tackle, which base to cover on a rundown play. The Dads who teach you how to shave, how to tie a tie, how to tie your shoes, how to shine them. Dads who teach you how to fix things around the house, how to keep your car going, how to change a tire, how to replace your sparkplugs, how to drive a standard. Dads who keep on you to make good grades, who read to you at night, who go to open house and talk to your teachers. Dads who answer your fifty million questions about why the sky is blue, why the linebacker sometimes rushes the quarterback and sometimes covers a receiver, why that weird looking guy in the store is doing "that," and what was so funny in the show that you were watching together. Who work all day long at some miserable, low-paying, stressful job just to support your sorry, ungrateful self. Who come home, every single night, to a tepid at best greeting, followed by a night filled with screaming kids running all around the house. Who let you stay up past your bedtime to watch the Oilers on Monday Night Football, who take you to the James Bond double feature, who let you pull up a chair and watch TV with them, who make you some popcorn too. Who obligingly help you move all of your pack-rat crap from apartment to apartment, and from town to town, never once asking whether you would agree to consider settling down. Who take you to the ball game, or the show, or the zoo, or the park, or drives you to summer camp, or who pays for endless lessons, or gets you in little league. Who plays catch with you, or any of your other millions of stupid games, just to have fun with you. Who are there when you're sick, or down, or defeated, just the same as when you're well, or on top of the world.
These Dads are out there, everywhere, all around. Think of them this Father's Day.
So to help celebrate, let's check out some Sweet Father's Day Videos.
Archie Bunker was wrong about a lot of things, but thirty years later, he sure was right about a lot of things too. Archie tells you why your father isn't wrong. Just watch the first fourminutes.
Who's the greatest movie dad of all time? Clark W. Griswold, that's who. See how Clark does it.
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Now, Red Forman had another way of dispensing life lessons. The "my foot in your ass" method. This seems a little more familiar.
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Bill Cosby explains how Dads are much more intelligent than you think. Dad is Great! Gave us chocolate cake!
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Kevin Costner has done only two worthwhile movies. Field of Dreams was the other one. Let's have catch.
FIELD OF DREAMS - Catch with Dad - Watch more Funny Videos">
Dads have to do the dirty work. Like taking away the wooby.
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If you're the father of a daughter, your job is really very simple.
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Finally, we hear from the greatest TV dad of all time. No, its not Dr. Huxtable. Its...Homer Simpson! Homer shows you how to build your child's self-esteem.
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Now learn something from these examples, and go have a great Father's Day!
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