W. Axl Rose and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

Ordinarily I would write some extended diatribe about Mr. Rose and his decision to reject his induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I'd address the important issues, like what the hell does the "W" stand for anyway, and why does the front man for a rock band need a name that's part mulleted Florida meth lab owner and part corporate attorney? (I guess I could have just said "Florida meth lab owner"). Or why does the world need Kid Rock as long as W. Axl is still alive? But it would take awhile, and by the time I finished it everyone will have gone back to forgetting there ever was a band called Guns and Roses, or as I think of them, Motley Crue with less spandex and slightly less Dallas Hair.

So I'll just say a couple of things. When the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame first came into existence, I was highly skeptical. My objections were along the lines of "rock isn't something in a museum, rock is out in the streets, its in your heart. Its about fighting the power, not charging an admission price." Adolescent idealism.

But as rock and roll's musical pre-eminence has given way to country and rap, and after having visited the actual Hall of Fame, I've done a 180 (which I'm sure prompts the Hall executives to breathe a big sigh of relief). The Hall of Fame does a great job of promoting the legacy and ongoing vitality of rock and roll, with concerts (including the annual induction ceremony concerts), exhibits, programs, and other outreach. It contains incredible artifacts that would otherwise never be seen. Off the top of my head, I can think of the actual Sgt. Pepper uniform John Lennon wore on the cover, part of "The Wall" from the original 1979 Pink Floyd concerts, Pete Townshend's original notes of the lyrics for Pinball Wizard, Hendrix's original notes for the Purple Haze lyrics, Roger Daltry's leather fringe outfit from the Tommy tour, and countless guitars, costumes, equipement, etc. All of which is totally cool. The exhibits do a great job of explaining the different musical styles of various performers, and identifying not only their influences but those who influenced them. The Hall keeps flying the "freak flag," at a time when fewer and fewer people even realize musicians are still playing rock and roll. So I'm fine with the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Amazingly, I couldn't find the John Mayer exhibit. Go figure.

Sidebar-weirdest "guest appearance" I've ever seen at a concert? Slash playing in roughly half of Carole King's performance at the 1991 New Orleans Jazz Festival. Right, that Slash, and that Carole King.

Though the Hall did take a backwards step when they voted in Guns and Roses in the first place. What's the matter? Whitesnake wasn't available? Deep Purple had other plans that weekend? .38 Special? Hell, Cheap Trick has a more valid claim to Hall of Fame membership than GNR. But that's just a matter of taste, or lack thereof.

But perhaps more importantly, through the years, all the bad ass, anti-establishment rebel types to have been elected ultimately accepted the honor:   Keith Richards, the Ramones, the Stooges, Sabbath, the Clash, Johnny Cash, CSN, Neil, Bob, Santana, U2, Ike and Tina, Lou Reed..they're all in. So if they're cool with it, who is anyone to judge?

If you want to make some sort of statement about the Hall being just a commercial enterprise that debases music and art, or some sort of eye-rolling sentiment like that, well I could kind of understand rejecting the invitation.  Of course, that would be ridiculous coming from rock stars. These are people who've made money hand over fist for big record companies and in most cases lived materialistic and even hedonistic lifestyles most of us could hardly fathom. And, let's get real, like all these guys picked up a guitar just to express some profound artistic feeling deep within them? Not for the chicks? Right. Think Nigel Tufnail from Spinal Tap, and his "Mach" piece (a cross between Mozart and Bach..."Lick My Love Pump").

Though I could still see Axl's move as a principled gesture, kind of. If he was sober at the time.

But then, not being able to get out of his own way, W. Axl releases a "statement" (is anything less rock and roll than "releasing a statement"? Jimmy Page never released a statement). Said statement resembles a cross between an attorney's demand letter and something you'd put in an envelope next to your old lady's telephone to explain why you're splitting in the middle of the night (in her Pontiac, and after cleaning out her checking account while you're at it). As best I can decipher Axl's "statement," ("gibberish" would have more accurately captured the writing style) he can't stand his old band mates and he thinks its best just to "move on." Move on to what? More gigs at the Hooter's Casino (just a few short blocks off the Strip) with his reconstituted GNR, which is really just him and a bunch of hired stiffs? Three or four rehab stints per year, alternating with community service? Ah, the glorious Rock and Roll Lifestyle.

Translation, W. Axl will get far more publicity by rejecting induction than by accepting it. More Indian Casino and Branson, Missouri gigs for the whole gang. David Lee Roth even thinks you're pathetic.

Bottom line: everyone else I listed above has way more street cred than Axl Rose could even dream of having. They're in the Hall, while he's got to buy a ticket to get in. Punk ass bitch.

OK, it was a diatribe after all. Just not extended.

Next-sunshine, rainbows, lollipops, cotton candy, sugar, spice, and everything nice. And all the words you need to stop using now.