Things I Believe For Absolutely No Reason

"I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts."

Mark Twain, What Is Man?

Everyone knows the difference between opinion and fact, right? Oh, I'm a lawyer, I know this one!! You can prove a fact, but not an opinion.

Most arguments and other fights we endure (or provoke) concern opinions, not facts. Raising the minimum wage would help/hurt the economy. We should/shouldn't send troops to fight ISIS. Jerrod Heard should start at quarterback. And, most of what we regard as facts, in actuality, they're just opinions that you really really really believe.

Or as George Costanza put it, "its not a lie if you believe it."

A sort of Emperor's New Clothes dynamic works here too. If enough people believe something, it takes on the appearance of fact. So, those contrarians among us appear like cranks, or "know nothings," in failing to believe. Because, you know, its not a question of "belief," once something has been proven scientifically (notwithstanding the existence of hundreds of scientist e-mails suggesting to the contrary). It would be nice by the way if "absolute scientific truth" didn't seem to change every few years. Like whether eggs are good for you. Can we please get that one straight at least?

Before this turns into a logic textbook, let's reel it in and talk about today's post-Christmas missive. Why do we believe what we believe? Because you saw it happen? Because someone else you respect believes it? Because it "seems" right? Because it suits your other views?

You like to think people rely on some objective basis in forming their beliefs. They saw footprints in the snow, so they believe someone walked in the yard. They saw every movie released one year and concluded that one was the best movie. [Fill in the blank] is the best candidate because he has the best position on [fill in the blank]. They didn't just decide something on a whim and started believing it with no factual basis at all. Like the USA Today Coaches' Poll (where we pretend the coaches actually vote, and not someone in the SID office, or that they watch the teams in question and don't just vote for their buddies or to help their own schools).

Yeah, you do on and keep thinking that. The fact is, most of us walk around spouting other people's opinions, having no idea why we think what we dearly believe to be true (see "talk radio listeners"). We hear something that sounds about right, and without much of any examination, we accept it as fact. Or more frequently, adopt that as our opinion. And we never seem to acknowledge it. We just seem to absorb the opinions around us and treat them as established. Those who don't believe, again, seem like cranks.

I have to acknowledge that I believe a number of things for which I absolutely lack any kind of factual basis or proof. I can't even concoct a good argument to support them. I just...believe. Which is good enough for me. But I wouldn't push my beliefs off on you.

Oh yes I would. Here's the things I believe, with absolutely no proof whatsoever. I just believe them to be true. You should too because they're absolutely right.

There are no coincidences. I strongly believe this one. Nothing just happens. Or put another way, everything happens for a reason. You might ignore the reason, or not see the design or connection in what's going on, but it always exists. Believe it!

Karma is real. Actually I could cite lots of examples of where people got what was coming to them, but can't really say their past transgressions caused their demise (or damages). I just know its true. Or as it says in Galatians, you reap what you sow.

You catch more flies with honey. People respond more to carrots than sticks.

The 30 second rule is a real thing. Bacteria are too lazy to move that fast.

The Kennedys had Marilyn Monroe killed. I know the Kennedys are saints and all, but they mostly couldn't keep it in their pants. Kennedy men affairs are of course legendary, and that included Marilyn Monroe. Who, sadly, seems to have been passed around like a joint at a Phish concert. I don't literally think the Kennedys ordered her death. I think it was one of those Michael Corleone things, where he tells Al Neri he doesn't want anything to happen to Fredo while his mother is still alive, and then he shoots Neri that look at his mother's funeral. Yeah, that's how I think it happened.

Drugs are bad. The illegal ones, that is. Though, about a gazillion ruined addicts' lives, and those of people close to them, do support that belief.

Aliens are a real thing. And not the ones coming in from Mexico. The ones coming from another planet. Real. So, God created this entire universe with all the stars and galaxies and black holes that covers seemingly infinite space. But put life on only one miserable rotten speck of a planet circling an average, non-descript star? Ok. That makes complete sense. Or if you're not into the whole religion/creation thing, the conditions that led to life developing on earth happened only once, despite the enormous vastness of space, and the eons of time. That also makes no sense. At all. Now, I guess that amounts to a reason why I believe in aliens. But kind of a flimsy one. Its more of a post-hoc rationalization. I can't point to any facts to back it up.

If you make a wish or say a prayer while going under a train crossing, and a train is on it (you're going under a train in other words), your wish will come true. Mom told us that one. That makes it so.

Jenny McCarthy is awesome. I know. I feel kind of ashamed. But I can't help it. She just...is. Ok, yeah, she's possibly responsible for a bunch of unnecessary disease exposures and medical conditions. So maybe the whole "don't immunize your kids" thing was a bit of an overreach. And, uh, "irresponsible." In the parlance of our times. But she eventually took it back. Trying to molest that little forest sprite Bieber at some award show was pretty nice too. So she's still wonderful!

God created the earth and gave humans dominion over it. I know...crazy, right? That's kind of true of any religious belief though. I suppose we all use different proof standards. Events that one person may see as just a coincidence or happenstance, someone else may discern the presence of God. Most of the world's religions cite eyewitness accounts of divine events to support their belief, but generally these involve events occurring hundreds or thousands of years ago, witnessed by people who lived to be about 25 if they were lucky and who thought the earth was flat. And, honestly, if God existed and wanted us to be happy, would he really have sent us all these tribulations? Like war, or pestilence, or Kathy Griffin? So its just that leap of faith, based on what you see and experience. I can't prove I'm right, but no one can prove I'm wrong.

The United States is by FAR, the greatest country on earth. By nearly any measure. #Merica.
 

Dazed and Confused was a documentary. Yeah, at least the Matthew McConaughey parts. I'm convinced Linklater didn't script this part. Instead, he just dressed Matt in period clothes and then followed him around with a camera as he lived his normal life. As my friend Cole pointed out, that makes the whole "high school girls" bit seem even more disturbing.

When you wear your team's gear it helps them play better. Yelling at the TV, however, does not. 

That's about it for now. Meanwhile, you people get to work figuring out why you believe what you believe.