Saturday, April 18, 2009

The Loneliest Place in the World



Harry Kalas' passing and John Madden's recent retirement reminds us that the great lights are going out, especially in the broadcast booth. To be replaced by, who knows? Mostly anonymous screamers, hawking product and running an endless stream of chatter over the Great American Game. At the tail end of this post, I link to Vin Scully's broadcast of the ninth inning of Sandy Koufax's perfect game. Everyone needs to listen to this, as I'll explain.

Sports, particularly for boys when I grew up and before, were an introduction to some semblance of the adult world to come. I didn't understand or have interest in business, politics, the war, or even girls. Other than the race to the moon, sports were the one grown-up pursuit I could follow with any degree of understanding. Mainly because my friends and my brothers and I played sports. We even played with Dad, who taught me how to bat, how to throw, to catch, and to run. Every boy I knew followed the Astros, the Oilers (or Cowboys), and later the Rockets. We all played out in the street, sometimes assuming the identity of our sports idols. When we didn't have enough kids to make entire teams, we'd invent games to play, unlike the heavily supervised and managed children of today, whose helicopter parents won't let them throw a ball or run five steps unless its part of an organized league with appropriate parental supervision, coaching, and liability releases.

When we weren't actually playing games, we were watching them on TV or listening on the radio. I actually remember Dad and I watching the 1968 Super Bowl (Oakland vs. Green Bay). I missed the bus home from second grade one afternoon, having lost track of time watching the 1972 World Series (Cincinatti vs. Oakland) in the school library with the principal. Mom got mad at me but Mr. Ledger stuck up for me and calmed her down when she came to pick me up. Sidebar-the present lack of daytime World Series games is an abomination. Dad and I and later my brothers would watch every Oilers game, and lots of other baseball and football games together. We often went to Houston Cougar football games, marveling over Bill Yeoman's explosive veer offense. Every so often we went to the Astrodome to watch Astros games, sitting in the bleachers, eating peanuts, and hanging on every pitch. I can still name every player in the early 1970s Astros lineup.

It has always been so with American boys (and now boys and girls throughout the world). My dad recently showed me a letter to the sports section editor he wrote as a kid, complaining that a writer had slighted Stan Musial. In the 1940s and 50s, the St. Louis Cardinals had a minor league team in Houston, the Houston Buffs, so Houston baseball fans gave their loyalty to the Cardinals for many years. Dad's letter listed with zeal Stan the Man's accomplishments and talents, as only a boy who grew up immersed in the American Game of Baseball and the local team could.

We listened to games on the radio, especially baseball. Baseball ultimately is a radio game. The best announcers did more than describe the game-they painted a picture. They called the action, but gave it shading, depth, color, and dimension. They'd explain the strategy and nuance, but they'd tell stories too. The great announcers of that era were more than just play-by-play men, they were your friends with whom you caught the game. Year after year, they were part of your life. They had nothing in common with today's screamers, who have seizures over every fly ball, or hawk Auto Zone or tell you about plenty of good seats still being available for Administaff Friday Fireworks between pitches, or talk about their favorite brand of donut or where they're going golfing tomorrow, instead of describing the game. This new breed of announcer is a homer, simply a shill for the team ownership, trying to hype ticket and merchandise sales, having little interest in describing the game.

I was privileged to grow up listening to the magnificent Gene Elston call Astros games. Elston was of the variety I described. Plain spoken, friendly, comfortable. Never hyperbolic or prone to emotional outbursts like today's announcers, Elston called a game like he was talking just to you. Later, I would take a transistor radio to bed and listen through the static to Jack Buck broadcast Cardinals' games on KMOX or Jack Brickhouse broadcast Cubs games on WHO (in Des Moines). Though a bit livelier than Elston, these men had much the same spare, plain spoken style. They presented the game, not themselves.

But the best, ever, was and is Vin Scully of the Dodgers. Scully began calling Brooklyn Dodgers games in 1950, serving an apprenticeship under the incomparable Red Barber. Scully called the Brooklyn Dodgers' only World Series championship, in 1955, as well as Don Larson's perfect game in 1956, Hank Aaron's 715th home run, Reggie Jackson's three home run game in the 1977 World Series, Bill Buckner's error in the 1986 World Series, Kirk Gibson's home run in the 1988 World Series, Orel Hersheiser's scoreless innings streak...the list goes on. 59 years later, he is still calling Dodgers games, working solo, with his trademark simple eloquence. Scully called the NBC Game of the Week during the 1980s, as well as numerous All-Star games and World Series.

Without question, his greatest moment, and with apologies to Russ Hodges, the greatest moment in baseball announcing, was his call of Sandy Koufax's perfect game. In 1965, Koufax was in the middle of a hot streak almost no other pitcher has ever had. Koufax finished the season, in which the Dodgers won the World Series, with a 26-8 record, 2.04 ERA, 382 strikeouts, and pitched in 335 innings. Those numbers are unheard of today, and constitute one of the greatest seasons any pitcher has ever had. On September 9, 1965, Koufax pitched his fourth no-hitter, which at the time broke the record of three set by Bob Feller (later to be bested by the Alvin Express, Nolan Ryan). The Dodgers were in a tight pennant race with the hated enemies to the north, the Giants. Though the Dodgers would ultimately win the pennant by two games, they were a 1/2 game out of first (tied with the Reds) on the night Koufax achieved perfection. The game was one of the best pitched games ever. Bob Hendley of the Cubs threw a one-hitter against the Dodgers that night and allowed only two base runners. The final score was 1-0. One hit and two base runners in a nine-inning game each remains a major league record. Koufax struck out 14 batters, over half the 27 he faced, ending the game with six consecutive strikeouts. It was a masterpiece.

Amazingly though, it is Vin Scully's call of that game that people remember most. It has been called the best piece of baseball writing ever, though of course his description was completely off-the-cuff and unrehearsed. Scully paints a portrait of that game that takes the listener not just to the park, but to the mound right next to Koufax. The lead-in from the commercial break after the 8th is maybe the greatest opening sentence of any paragraph I've ever read, much less heard delivered extemporaneously by a man witnessing, and trying to describe, history. We see, or hear, the game as if we were right there. Scully, who had to have been just as excited as any fan in the park, dialed down his emotions and instead conveyed the spectacle through a combination of matter of factness and nearly-poetic images. "29,000 people in the ballpark and a million butterflies." "the mound at Dodger Stadium right now is the loneliest place in the world." "A lot of people in the ballpark now are starting to see the pitches with their hearts." Notice also that after he calls the final strike, he waits 38 seconds until he says anything else, instead allowing the moment to sink in, giving the audience a chance to revel and to hear the crowd's eruption. Jon Miller, himself an outstanding contemporary baseball announcer for the Giants, once called off an entire planned pre-game show to simply read the transcript of Scully's call, prompting the most fan mail he'd ever received. The call is simply exquisite. We live in times where its not likely we'll ever hear its equal again.

Click below to hear the broadcast



And, Slate magazine transcribed the call, so click on this link to read it.

Keep listening after the end of the game, for Scully to explain why he kept stating the date and time.

Hope you enjoy.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Tanning-the Second in a Daily Affirmations Health Tips Arc


While lung and other forms of cancer largely continue to decline, skin cancers continue to increase. The Center for Disease Control reports a 7.7 percent increase from 2003-05 for men, and a 2.9 percent increase for women from 1993-2005. That's 53,792 people with melanoma, 8,345 of whom died, in 2005. Nearly all of this is due to sun exposure, and specifically to ultraviolet ray exposure. My own mother had a skin cancer issue, and my uncle Jimmy, who spent most of his adult life in the sun as a football coach, had a melanoma on the neck. With early detection, both of these were caught, but had much more time gone by, it may have been too late.

Which brings us to tanning. A tan is basically a sign of skin injury, as your skin produces melanin in an attempt to ward off further sun radiation damage. Polite society once frowned upon tans as signifying someone who worked outside (and therefore was of a lower social class). Sometime around the 50s, with Frankie and Annette at the beach along with Gidget and Dick Dale, it became socially acceptable to smear oneself with baby oil and head out into the sun for a good eight or nine hour bake. In many cases, this just created a lobster thermador effect, but the idea was to become a nice cocoa brown, like the aforementioned teen idols. Cary Grant, for example, always sported a suntan. Even now, all the cool people are doing it. And by "it," I mean going out to the beach or laying out on a mat in the sun for several hours with little or no UV protection.

There's even a new phenomenon called "binge tanning," reported in the UK, in which women feel pressure to have a "year-round" tan and overuse indoor tanning beds, leading to a sharp rise in under-30s melanomas. I can understand why those pasty white, Casper the Friendly Ghost shop-dwellers feel the need to get some sunlight, but those of us living somewhere with more than 20 days of sunlight per year have no such excuse. Indoor tanning beds don't avoid this risk either, and in fact, can actually be worse than going into the sun.

Frankly, all you people are really doing is turning yourselves into cancer-ridden saddles. I see a tan and can literally feel the wrinkles forming, and can picture the hidebag you will become in twenty years or less. Are tans even really all that attractive? Certainly not with the splotching and peeling that they bring. Isn't normal human skin (with acceptable sunlight levels, enough to get your vitamin D) much more attractive? A tan evokes 1970s TWA stewardess on her way to the "fox bar" to chase down Mr. Goodbar Richard Gere (and generally winding up with Milt the new guy from accounting, sporting gold chains and a fresh new perm). That's not an association you'd hope for.

Yet, people persist because beauty knows no pain. Tattoos, botox, piercings, branding, liposuction, facelifts (and other unnecessary plastic surgery)...all this is our version of the plates in the lips or bone through the nose. Can you imagine parties on the Ethiopian plain, where women gripe about that one tramp who got her lip plate by cozying up to the tribal chief, or the men complaining about their wives wanting bigger and bigger lip plates? Basically the same thing happens at Westlake or Highland Park cocktail parties, just substitute "cosmetic surgery" for lip plates.

Here's a weird thought...the human body is beautiful just the way it comes from the factory. Its already done. There's no need to turn your body into some living canvas or subject it to technological tortures. Keep it maintained and it will look remarkable, just as it is, at any age. Its like having a german shepherd-give it good food and water, exercise, keep it out of the direct sun, cut its hair and groom it, and it will look and feel great its whole life. I'll allow that in the case of tattoos, there may be some uniquely personal reason and expression behind the tattoo, like your child's name, or your squad in Vietnam, or your Rush tribute band ("Rush-tastic"). But that dolphin or star above your ankle isn't telling anyone anything except you and your six closest girlfriends got to know the Oklahoma State rugby team really well at Spring Break in Daytona.

There's only a few people who can legitimately have tans:

Fishermen and sailors (and no, I won't use the term "fishers")
World War II fighter pilots downed in the Pacific
Surfers (see Blue Crush)
Park rangers
Roofers
Landscapers
DEA Agents stationed in Miami (but not Miami PD-hear that Crockett and Tubbs?)
Cougars.

On that last one, cougars need a tan as an identifying mark, going with the article of leopard print clothing, frosted scare hair, Catwoman nails, drug store makeup, martini in hand, and "augmentation." All those things without a tan just say "Lubbock doctor's wife." The tan really makes the image pop.

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As I outlined this post last weekend, ESPN Classic was playing the 1979 NCAA Men's Basketball championship game, the Bird-Magic Indiana State vs. Michigan State game that revitalized college basketball and launched those two into careers that would have the same effect on the NBA. Several things jumped out at me watching the game.

First, the short shorts. Holy God! Did we really wear shorts like that? How was that not a public health hazard? Lots of chafing I imagine. Leave something to the imagination guys.

Also, the game itself seemed faster, but more bunched around the basket. Without the three point shot, defenders didn't need to worry about the outside perimeter, so they felt free to camp in the lane and stop drives to the basket. That in turn put a premium on fast breaks to get to the hoop before the defense could get set, and on quick passing to beat the zones. It also was more of a big man's game, as rebounds were more important to the offense and to handle the increased traffic near the basket.

It was also interesting watching a game without a shot clock. This game seemed unaffected by it though. I don't recall the shot clock being such a big issue in college, although it did stop such atrocities as the 1978 SWC Tournament final, where Arkansas beat Texas 39-38. That's like a college intramural game score.

They interviewed both Bird and Magic in the present day, and showed clips from each interview during the game. Lets just say both of those guys' heads are a LOT bigger now than 1979. I think Bird's head may have its own gravitational field. "Don't you have any respect for yourself?" Signed, Greg Marmalard.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Bluebonnets! Bluebonnets! Bluebonnets!


An update to my earlier wildflower post. I was driving east on US 290 yesterday evening as twilight began to give way to dusk, windows down and Bob Dylan's "Visions of Johanna" blaring from my stereo, when to the right (south of the highway) I noticed five or six of the biggest, thickest bluebonnet fields I've ever seen. Seas of bluebonnets like I've never seen, not even in Fredericksburg. Several drivers had pulled over at various spots to take pictures.

You can find these fields just west of noted speed trap and sausage town Chappell Hill, after Brenham (or before Brenham if you're coming from Texas). These fields are closer to Chappell Hill.

While we're at it, the wildflowers are really in full bloom all along US 290 between Austin and Hempstead. Lots of buttercups, bluebonnets, winecups, coreopsis, and paintbrush (actually, I've been a little disappointed at the paintbrushes this year-not so thick as previous years). Looking forward to the later appearance of sunflowers, mexican hats, and indian blankets.

Also, you can click on this link to where people have been posting their own Texas wildflower sightings.

ETA: there's also an abundance of bluebonnets, and other wildflowers, surrounding and in Memorial Park in Houston. I will post pictures to flickr when I return to Austin tomorrow night.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Signs of Austin

I'm starting a new Flickr photo set called "Signs of Austin." Basically, this imaginative name applies to photos I've begun taking of various signs unique to Austin. I've decided that my new fake job, which I hope will impress and amaze the chicks at cocktail parties and happy hours better than "electric utility lawyer," is "free-lance journalist." You know, like Clint Eastwood in Bridges of Madison County (which, amazingly, I've seen only the last part of, since after all, the best part of any romance is the part where it doesn't work out and they have to live with the anguish sadly ever after-still not sure how I got this way....). "So, like, what do you do? Oh, actually I'm a Free-Lance Photographer; I travel the world taking photos for Time, Newsweek, Esquire...can I get you like another mojito?" Like that. So, this is Project #2 of Chris Reeder, Free-Lance Photographer/Hunk of Burnin' Love. (#1 was of the Town Lake Trail). Hope you enjoy.

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Two complaints.

First, can anything stop the new "white pants" trend before it goes any further? I get out of the office right around never, but in the span of two weeks, I've seen at least five women wearing white pants. Its not even Easter yet. White pants are so "wife-swapping at the hot tub after getting back from the EST lecture and the Woody Allen movie." White pants inevitably lead to white shoes, which have no place in polite society outside of the 1970s.

Second, ditto for the "high five." Can we please stop with the high fives already? Britney Spears thinks the high five is overexposed. This afternoon, I walked past a couple in their 80s if they were a day over 10, who had just successfully parked their late model Buick in a smallish parking space. The wife turned to her navy jacket, orange sherbet button down wearing husband and high fived him. When people who were alive in the last Great Depression pick up on a cultural fad, that's when you know its over. 1983 is tired of the high five. Unless you're Starsky or Hutch, the jive brothers from Airplane, or a member of a NBA team in the semi-finals or finals, kindly refrain from high fiving. I got sick of Joe Average trying to high five me for his pathetic daily achievements, like spelling "aphrodisiac" properly in his personal ad, about 20 years ago. This is just a permutation of an even better general rule-keep your hands to yourself.

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I don't want to let Opening Day pass without some remarks. Its harder to follow professional sports these days, with such widespread player movement. You really can't get behind any of the players on "your team" these days, because as soon as you do, they've been traded to Cleveland for draft choices and minor leaguers to be named later. But baseball itself can still amaze and entertain. Like life, it is few little moments of intensity surrounded by watching, waiting, planning, and expecting. Every "play" in baseball is preceded by all sorts of subtle moves, barely visible yet highly important. And unlike any other sport, each team has the same opportunities to win as the other team-9 sets of 3 outs. You can't run out the clock in a baseball game. Baseball has mounds of problems, and its owners may never sort them out. But even in imperfection, baseball still symbolizes our nation, particularly with the integration of outstanding players from all over the world, much like the integration of immigrants from everywhere in the world to our country. So I look forward to my 44th season (43 1/2 actually-I missed most of the 1964 season but was around for Bob Gibson's first World Series). See you at the yard, meat!

Monday, March 30, 2009

Motorcycles


A fine young man who worked at my gym, who was working on his degree at the University of Texas, who had another job at Maggie Mae's, who had a mother and a sister, died early this morning in a motorcycle crash. He was 23. I had only met him once or twice, but the mood at the gym, which closed early today, was despondent, as this man was obviously highly regarded by all who worked with him. He was driving his motorcycle home last night after work, along Lamar Street near 26th Street (close to Pease Park), which makes a sharp turn at that spot. He didn't make the curve tightly enough, wound up in the oncoming traffic lane, and collided with an oncoming car. He was wearing a helmet, but died at the scene.

I've long wondered about motorcycles and whether they should be legal. I won't make that argument here, but at a minimum, one has to question whether their risk may not be excessive. Unlike cars, with airbags, seat belts and plenty of steel between you and the pavement (or the other car), motorcycles offer no such protection. Even if you wear a helmet, nothing else stands between the rest of you and the immovable object you may collide with. Motorcycles are also more difficult for car drivers to see than other larger vehicles. Even if the motorcyclist is driving perfectly, another driver may swerve in front of him because he can't see the motorcycle. Motorcycles also have a lot less wheel contact with the road, and are much more susceptible to skids, slides, and spills, particularly in adverse conditions. Finally, motorcycles are harder to drive than most other vehicles. According to the Insurance Institute of America, motorcycle fatalities have been increasing, with 2007 having the highest amount fatalities since 1975. Motorcycle fatalities have increased every year for the last 10 years. Finally, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, the fatality rate per registered vehicle for motorcyclists in 2007 was six times the fatality rate for passenger car occupants.

Every day of our lives, we make numerous decisions to accept some risk of death. Generally, that risk is infinitessimal, but often it is somewhat higher. Every time you cross the street, operate a car, take a plane, get in a taxi (especially there), or perform one of countless mundane acts, you voluntarily accept some risk of death or injury. Its impossible to avoid. Stay in your house long enough, huddled in the basement with one light bulb and a supply of tuna salad and mineral water, and chances are a plane or an asteroid will crash into the house, or radon gas will seep in, or Mormons will break in...you get the picture. You can't avoid risk. But that doesn't mean you should court it either. Clearly there's some line that divides acceptable and unacceptable risk. Everyone must decide for themselves where the line is drawn in their own life.

The lore of motorcycle culture has certainly gripped our nation for some time. Perhaps it owes to some association with vague concepts of "freedom." Movies and books have glorified that association. But like the Marlboro Man or Dean Martin or other pleasant faces put on dangerous activities, the inescapable fact remains that motorcycle riding remains a dangerous activity for reasons I've described.

Millions of Americans ride motorcycles responsibly every day, and I can't conceive of any American government that would ever ban them, at least not in my lifetime. But, just as there's no safe cigarette, there's really no safe motorcycle. Hopefully all of you and all your friends and family will be extremely cautious when it comes to motorcycle riding (and give a wide berth to motorcyclists on the road as well).

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Town Lake Pictures



Every town has something its local Chamber of Commerce plays up in its "Move to/Visit Our Town" brochures. In New Orleans, its the food and music. In Memphis, the music. New York has lots of things. San Francisco...moral bankruptcy and overaggressive panhandling? I can't imagine what Lubbock says. "Come to Lubbock, it sucks less than Odessa."

Here in Austin, Texas, the big cheese pushes music and the outdoors. By outdoors, we generally mean the Barton Creek Greenbelt, Zilker Park and Town Lake (now "Lady Bird Lake"). A 10 mile (mostly) gravel hike and bike trail next to downtown rings either bank of the lake, and a 2 mile stretch on either bank is enormously popular, particularly on pretty days like today.

Although we haven't had nearly as much rain as previous years, there's still some color on the trail this spring. This afternoon I went out and took a bunch of photos of some of the red buds, wisteria, and other springtime color that decorates the Trail this year. I'm in the process now of putting them on my flickr site, which you can access with the link on the right. Hope you enjoy. More importantly, hope you can come here soon and enjoy the beautiful spring!

Girl Power




Who are we kidding? Look at that - look how she moves - it's like jello on springs – they must have some sort of a built-in motor. I tell you it's a whole different sex.



Jack Lemmon, "Some Like It Hot"

42 year old Dara Torres doesn't move like jello on springs, and will be kicking your ass later for thinking so.

Unlike most of your inert, corpulent husbands and boyfriends, sitting on the couch thinking about whether to get a third roast beef sandwich and licking cheetoes residue from their fingers, I’ve been exercising relatively non-stop since 1978 (save for times trying to rehab from injuries or my heart surgery). When I first started, and particularly when I went to Texas and started working out at Gregory Gym, almost the only people I saw in the gym lifting weights were men. There’d be about one woman for every 20 men in the weight room. Also, running on campus or out on the trail (or in Kingwood on the ironically-named asphalt “greenbelt”), most of the runners were men, and while you’d see some women walking, it was rare to see women running. Women took aerobics classes. I distinctly remember talking to women at the time about this, and reading about it too. The prevailing attitude was “I don’t want to get big and muscular.”

Nothing gets by me, of course, and lately I’ve begun to notice feeling outmanned while working out. That’s not a comment about my still incredibly high above normal testosterone levels (I mean really, the tests don’t have a measurement as high as my levels). Rather, I’ve noticed that most people at the gym are now women. Most people out running, and particularly most of the people really out training hard, are women. More and more, women have begun to outnumber men at triathlons, fun runs around town, training groups, and other recreational athletic competitions and endeavors like fitness competitions. Westlake housewives everywhere are killing themselves with pilates, yoga, weights, running, tennis, macrobiotic/South Beach diets, botox and other cosmetic enhancements, while their Frank the Tank husbands log a lot of couch time.

What up?

This obviously relates to what is considered “attractive.”

In between glances at your watch and discreetly looking around to see if there’s anything more interesting going on around you (without letting your wife or girlfriend see), have you ever noticed at the museum all those Renaissance paintings of nudes? Let me put it a little more directly - all the naked fat chick pictures? Yeah. Believe it or not, back in the day, that’s what counted as hot. Those women were the Marissa Millers and Petra Nemcovas of their day. Probably explains why the bikini was so long in coming.

That kind of body type really doesn’t turn the heads so much anymore (except maybe at the trailer park or on Springer), but even as late as the 1950s and 60s, the “ideal” woman had a somewhat veal-like soft body quality. Think of the sex symbols from then: Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield, Brigitte Bardot, Grace Kelly, Mamie Van Doren…those girls weren’t logging a lot of gym time. The look was soft: soft skin, soft muscles, slender, with large breasts (where possible). Marilyn Monroe, sexiest woman in the world, and all that, was a size 12.

Less than 40 years later (really a short timespan), with eating disorders, exercise, and speed all the rage, today’s “ideal” female body type is starkly different: athletic, toned, hard, lean, and with large breasts. Conformity to meet this ideal is brutal. Let a female celebrity gain, say, 20 pounds and go from a size 0 to size 6, and the collective media lowers the boom. With Dara Torres and Elle MacPherson walking around over 40 and all rocked up, no wonder Debbie Clemens felt the need to hit the HGH. Which Roger had no idea was going on.

I think tastes changed, like they always do, when TV and movies and other media began featuring stronger-looking women. This happened gradually, but in stages. Keep in mind that during all this progression, the adults of today (particularly in the key advertising demographics, and particularly men) were growing up watching, admiring, and feeling the impact these women were making on culture.

This all started on television. First and foremost, and always, was Emma Peel (Diana Rigg). She paved the way for Agent 99 (Barbara Feldon), Wonder Woman (Lynda Carter), Police Woman (Angie Dickinson), and eventually Charlie’s Angels. These were attractive women, but turn your back on them and they’d kick your ass. Emma knew (and used) karate, and could fight with knives. She had a male partner, but for the first time, the woman sometimes was saving the man from danger. She was just as smart as the men, and generally outwitted them. But she was also attractive and very sexy. In their own way, all these later incarnations were strong and tough, but feminine.

Around the same time, women athletics began to take off. The first really famous of this bunch was Wilma Rudolph, who won three gold medals in the 1960 Rome Olympics despite having a sprained ankle. Then in 1968 came Peggy Fleming, another attractive woman athlete, with grace and beauty, but also an athleticism not generally associated with female beauty. Then in the early 1970s, girl next door Chris Evert began dominating women’s tennis, routinely besting the likes of Billie Jean King and Martina Navratilova. Again, these women were attractive and athletic, physically accomplished and yet desirable as well.

Pushing on to the 1980s, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition made a monumental change in popular thinking about women’s body types. Unlike other forms of cheese from that era, the SI swimsuit models weren’t soft, doughy, compliant looking playthings, but were fit, lean, athletic, and looked like they could compete in the swimsuits they were modeling. These weren’t anorexics or Twiggys—these women were muscular and toned. And big as well.

Finally, thank the hair bands. Yes, the 1980s heavy metal videos were ridiculous. Larry Flynt thinks maybe they went a little far in objectifying women. But once you look past all that, and admittedly it’s a bit difficult to do so, you notice the women being objectified weren’t the more customary waifish stick figures that had been in magazines. Kate Moss could never have been in a Whitesnake video. These women looked like if you crossed them, they’d cut you. They, too, were big, athletic (well, the ones who weren’t smoking anyway), and strong. (BTW, 25 years later, the Hot for Teacher video is still pretty robust. Man, I sure miss Diamond Dave.).

That last bit aside, during all this time, society was changing as well. Women gained economic options—they could go to work as something other than a teacher or secretary. They could keep working after getting married or even after having kids. They could even be independent, like Mary Tyler Moore. As they became used to more freedom and to options long deprived, it was only natural they’d want to play the same games the boys did. Title IX ushered in that freedom to play sports, to train, and to excel at athletics that until then was seen as inconsistent with the unyielding soft, “ladylike” image women were held to. These girls grew up playing sports and being in shape. Unlike their male counterparts, who eventually became sloven prisoners to video games and cheap beer, women became more interested in athletics and training as an expression of that new strength. Also, I think it offered an opportunity for the kind of interaction and teamwork with other women, with training classes and groups, workout partners, and team or partner sports, which more characterize women’s relationships than men’s.

As media began to feature these kinds of women prominently, it was only natural that the masses would follow. Little boys who became big boys during this era grew up with these kinds of women dominating the cultural landscape. Little girls who grew up to become big girls began to look at them as having the type of look that society at least allegedly aspired to.

Now, women can and do play all the boys’ games. While men and the front porch most of them have hanging off their mid-section sit on the couch, hang out at sports bars, or hole up deer blinds on weekends. Now that’s progress!

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24 ways that women are similar to fish. This is from the “Barney’s Blog” section of the “How I Met Your Mother” page on the CBS web site:

1. Both attracted to shiny objects
2. More fun to catch while drinking
3. Neither travel well
4. There’s others in the sea and/or bar
5. Three words: catch and release
6. Both travel in protective groups
7. Small bladders
8. The deeper you go, the scarier they get
9. Their weight largely determines their value
10. [EDITED: My lawyer has requested that I remove this one from the blog… hint: crabs!]
11. They get all ornery if you try to grab their tail
12. Bears will eat either of them
13. Sometimes I likes ‘em wild, sometimes I likes ‘em farm-raised
14. You must document great catches or no one will believe you — video preferred
15. Easier to reel in if you let them wear themselves out first
16. Seen the movie Splash? Case closed
17. Cold blooded. Looking your way, Stacy.
18. Neither can operate a vehicle
19. They both eat things
20. The harder they shake their tail, the farther they’ll go in life
21. Scales are important to each of them
22. They never have to buy drinks
23. Umm… Eggs? Duh
24. Can hook either with a great line

****

Like Pam in Urban Cowboy, these girls know exactly how to get themselves a cowboy. Pay close attention ladies: