Is It OK to Start Hating on Lance Armstrong Yet?

I mean, really. At the risk of having the Lance-bots string me up at Eeyore's Birthday celebration, I think we need to ask whether this guy needs a celebrity timeout.

No question, Lance's story is an inspiration to millions. Here's a guy with a wife and child, scraping along pursuing his dream of competing in the world cycling circuit, struck down with near-fatal testicular cancer. Doctors tell him he'll be lucky to live; continued competition is highly unlikely. But Lance not only beats cancer, he wins the Tour de France, putting in grueling training sessions when not enduring grueling chemo and radiation sessions. Then he wins the race many more times, all the while keeping cancer at bay. Not only that, he founds a charity, Livestrong, that raises millions for cancer research, and he flies around the world promoting it. No doubt, that's a great story.

But, the paint has been peeling off of that story for some time.

First, he divorces his wife who supported him through the dark cancer days. I've heard rumors around town that pin the blame on her, but in reading some of her essays in Runner's World, I kind of doubt it. For a long time before the divorce, there were stories about the stress created by his living and training in Europe while the wife and fam stayed in Austin. But, who knows, so I'm tempted to give him that one.

But not long after leaving his wife, he starts dating famous rocker Sheryl Crow. Now I will grant that at least she's age appropriate, and was fairly well established on her own. But it wasn't a good sign that his first post-Kristin relationship was with the writer of "All I Want to Do is Have Some Fun."

Then, we find out that damn near every other competitive cyclist in the world has not just experimented with steroids, but apparently was jamming them down their gullet morning, noon, and night. Numerous stories circulated accusing Lance of doing the same, although there's never been any firm documentation that Lance ever actually failed a legitimate drug test. But still, even granting that its the miserable and pathetic French trying to take down an American who conquered their sport, that's an awful lot of smoke. How does a guy fresh off of cancer treatment manage to beat a bunch of frenchy biking dopers, and beat them badly, without using the stuff himself? And how did he continue to win the most grueling cycling race in the world all those years, against competition jacked up on steroids, if he wasn't using? Its not proof, but it doesn't look good.

Then, when Sheryl Crow developed cancer, Lance dropped her like a losing lottery ticket, or like she was contagious. So not only does she have to go through cancer treatment, she has to endure weeks of tabloid speculation about her private life.

Next step, he started dating half-his-age, anorexia for fun and profit, Queen Twin of Mass Media Ashley Olsen. I'm not sure exactly what was more creepy about that-the fact that he literally was old enough to be her father, or that he pretty much did look like her father. The eeeewwwww factor was palpable.

But, to put the boot in, Lance started rolling with noted man-child, non-deodorant wearing tool Matthew McConaughey. Pictures are printed in all the magazines. Shirtless jogging together, shirtless clubbing together, shirtless doing Austin together, shirtless man-dating together, making BFF scrapbooks together. Lance goes Hollywood. Rolling with Wooderson by itself ought to get you on the hate list.

Leaving Matt, he swooped in on rebounding Kate Hudson, ex-wife of Black Crowes two-dimesional lead singer Chris Robinson and (allegedly) fresh off of inspiring fellow Texan Owen Wilson's suicide attempt. Bad enough snaking some other guy's action, but its inexcusable when its another Texan.

So the case against Lance Armstrong boils down to the story that propelled him to fame becoming less and less believable over time, going Hollywood, and repeatedly taking shirts off with the Bongo Man. Nike ads, and a possible life story movie. Hanging out with the Rolling Stones. Finally, the incessant, local promotion and unquestioning hero worship accorded him in Austin. I haven't seen this much celebrity obsession around here since Vince Young. That is, pre nine touchdowns/15 interceptions Vince Young.

I think that adds up to Lance needing to focus on just the fundraising and backing away from the quest for fame.